Monday, April 30, 2012

Handy Mack

When the Scout Master travels, I always cross my fingers and hope that there are no issues with any of our major appliances while he's away.  Our garbage disposal has been temperamental since we moved into this house.  It works, but sometimes it sounds like it's not going to be working much longer.   So, this morning at 6:00am, when I flipped on the switch and heard nothing...and saw no water draining...I realized that the time had probably come to replace the garbage disposal. 

The Scout Master is, of course, out of town, so I texted him in HOU and said, "Well, the disposal officially died, I think." (with a little frowny faced guy next to it.)  He texted back, "That's bad timing.  Is there any way you can wait until I get home to get it fixed?"  I couldn't.  I was frustrated about the disposal, but I was more frustrated that I had standing yucky water in my sink and that it might be there until Friday morning!  I would have called someone right that minute to come and fix it, but it was only 6:45am. 

The kids gradually wandered into the kitchen to get breakfast, so I warned them, "Please don't run the water in the sink.  It's not draining.  And the disposal isn't working."  Since Mack was standing nearby, and since the words "not working" pique his interest, he decided to check out the problem.   

He looked in the sink and said, "Mommy, is it because there's a cup in there?"
 can you see that green cup in there?  yeah...I couldn't either. 
It turns out that those little plastic cups fit right down into the drain of my sink, but not ALL the way down, and if there's water in there already and the cup happens to be dark green, you really can't see it.  And a cup in the drain muffles the sound of the disposal just enough that it sounds like it's not working, and so you just assume it's dead.  

Apparently the expertise of an observant eight year old was all I really needed to avoid my frustration this morning.  I'm glad to know that I don't have to cross my fingers anymore and hope that nothing will break while the Scout Master is traveling.  I can just have my handy little Mack fix it for me.  He got plenty of hugs this morning and high fives for being so awesome!

Saturday, April 28, 2012


This afternoon while driving all of my children all over Allen for various sports, parties, jobs, etc., I saw this in front of my van...
A mommy duck and her little babies were making their way across a 4 lane divided highway!  Fortunately it was not a busy traffic day, so I stopped my van in the middle of the road and waited for them to get safely beyond any of my tires.  

There's something about watching a little duck family that just melts my heart.  This mommy duck was quacking a little and looking back every few seconds to make sure they were all still following.  TCD's friend and I watched from the window of the van as they made it safely across the other two lanes and up to the curb.  One by one, the ducks hopped up and over the curb where their mom was impatiently waiting.  Finally, the last little duck was the only one left.  It couldn't hop high enough.  It couldn't quite make it up onto the curb no matter how hard it tried.  So then it just sat there quacking little pitiful quacks, until finally the mommy duck let out one really loud "QUACK!" and that baby jumped right up onto the curb and walked into the field with its family.  (I wish I had that kind of effect on my family just with one really loud QUACK!)

Those little ducks totally made my day today.

Friday, April 27, 2012


I have bittersweet feelings about this day.  (Mostly the bitter...only they're not really bitter...mostly just sad.)  Sometimes there are things you love that you have to say goodbye to.  I absolutely HATE goodbyes...even the short ones.  Unfortunately this is a permanent one.

In March, we put our Mendon house on the market.  Within a few weeks we had a couple of offers.  Today we officially signed the closing documents.  Someone I don't even know is going to move in this weekend.  

I love that house.  

You can read the details of all the things I love about it here.  But this morning I was thinking more about all the stuff that happened while we lived there.  Birthday parties, holidays, remodeling, kids learning to ride bikes, piano lessons, Settlers of Cataan tournaments, playdates, chickens, barn cats, canning, finding treasures in the back yard.  It's overwhelming to think of the memories we made in that 100 year old house.  But even though the house no longer belongs to us, the memories still do.  We were so fortunate to be able sell it so quickly.  And we were even more fortunate to own it for as long as we did.  I hope the new owners will love it as much as we did. 

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Unexpected Stuff

Don't you love when you see something totally unexpected that just makes you smile?  This afternoon I was crazy busy.  I had just dropped Spell Girl off at a bass lesson and had barely enough time to run over to Wal-Mart for two really quick things.  And as I rushed through the parking lot focused on the broccoli and bananas I needed, here's what I saw... I stopped and took a picture of it and decided to post it on here to remind me to stop rushing around and just smile.  I love the guy who drives this car.  And I love that he left his companion in it while he was shopping today. 

Wednesday, April 25, 2012


Yesterday and today the 7th graders at Ereckson took a statewide standardized test.  They've been preparing for this test and talking about it for months, so on both days, I made sure to arm Spell Girl with a really good breakfast and extra healthy snacks to ensure the best possible brain capacity.   
When I picked up Spell Girl from school, I expected to get a full report about the test and how she felt about the day.  Here's what I got instead...
Me:  Hi Girlie!  How was your day?  
SG:  Mommy!  I got SOOOO mad today! 
Me:  At who? 
SG:  Well, not at a person.
Me:  Uh oh...not one of those injustices to mankind again?
SG:  YES!  Mommy, don't make fun of me.  This is totally serious.  We need to DO something!

And then for the next 20 minutes she launched into this tirade about the excessive use of paper by the State of Texas and how outraged she was that they only put ONE question on some of the pages.

SG:  Mommy!  There was ONE question and then the rest of the page had NOTHING ON IT!  What are they thinking??  Do they realize that if they just increased it to TWO questions on a page, they would still have room for working space and it would cut down on the paper.  The books would be lighter so the teachers wouldn't have to carry all those heavy test booklets.  The test would look smaller and be less intimidating for the students.  And less paper means MORE TREES and MORE OXYGEN.  DO THEY NOT KNOW THAT WE NEED TREES FOR OXYGEN!  

She also mentioned that every time she turned the page, she got more and more upset...

SG:  Every time I turned another page and saw all that blank space, I just wanted to write all over the bottom of it...WHAT A STUPID WASTE OF PAPER!  SAVE THE TREES!!

You would have to live with my little Spell Girl to understand why this is so humorous and endearing.  She is the most mild mannered, peaceful, compassionate little thing.  She loves animals, teachers, children, and flowers.  She is infinitely patient and gives everyone the benefit of the doubt.  So to hear her enraged about anything definitely gets our attention.  I just let her go on and on about her horror at the carelessness of the government...because really, there wasn't a lot I could say to change her mind.   

I don't know where she gets this activism streak in her personality.  It certainly doesn't come from me or her dad.  But it's so exciting to see her passionate and moved toward a purpose.  I'm not sure if she's planning to write a letter to the test assessors or if she'll skip all the little people and go straight to Governor Rick Perry, but I guarantee someone's going to get an earful.  

I look forward to many more years of tree hugging, trash picking, recycling movements from this  girl!   What a total joy it is to have all these different personalities in my house!

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Good Hair Days

This is so totally and completely vain, but every now and then the planets align and a picture turns out better than I expect it to.  The sun was shining.  There was good light in the bathroom.  I was having a good hair day.  And I thought I'd try to capture it on film.  It worked!  It might not happen again, so I'm posting the proof!  :)

Monday, April 23, 2012

Raspberry M&M's

Did you know that these existed??  I didn't!  So they must be new.  And if they're not, then someone should have told me because they are so delicious!!  

I took TCD out of school early today for an eye doctor appointment and on the way we made a quick stop at Target and happened to see these!  Everything about these called to us!  The size of the bag...not too big, not too small!  The color of the bag!  And the word RASPBERRY written across the top!  In fact, this bag of M&M's called to us so loudly that we couldn't resist and we bought it!  (And some of us who just got iPhones like to take pictures of EVERYTHING and then immediately download them onto FB, so we took a picture of the bag, too.) 

Guess what!  They're ALL pink and red.  And they taste like those Pepperidge Farms Raspberry Milano cookies that I can't live without.  Super yum in a bag that is big enough to provide HOURS of deliciousness.  They are my new favorite thing and I foresee many more of those little M&M's in my future! 

Sunday, April 22, 2012


We have the BEST Gospel Doctrine teacher in our ward.   We actually have two of them, but one of them is fairly new and I haven't had the chance to go to any of his lessons yet.  I'm sure there will be future posts about his awesomeness, but for now, I'm just writing about Sister Bailey.  I totally look forward to the weeks when she teaches.  And even when I walk into that room feeling less than overwhelmed by the Spirit, somehow she manages to help me find It.  

Every week that she teaches she writes this on the board:


It stands for what's in it for me?  Every week, she asks us to use the little excerpts we discuss in class to launch us into our own personal study of the rest of the scripture, and to figure out what part of it is relevant to our lives at that moment.  Because that always changes, you know?  Every time we read the scriptures, no matter how many times we may have read them previously, they say something different.  Depending on the circumstances, or my mood, or my calling at the time that I read, I can find something that I didn't find before.  The scriptures are amazing that way.  For me, that makes them more real and personal. 
Today Sister Bailey's lesson was on Mosiah Ch. 1, 2, 3 (King Benjamin's speech)  There is so much meaty stuff crammed into those three chapters that I would have had to have been comatose to not feel some kind of inspiration, but once again she managed to help me think of something NEW!  I LOVE that.  I have read this part of the Book of Mormon A LOT!  We studied it last year in Institute.  I have heavily marked my scriptures with little notes everywhere regarding various insights that I've received or been taught.  I LOVE King Benjamin.  And I know him pretty well.  But today, I heard things in a different way than before.  What was "in it for me today" was different than I expected and different than it was the last time I read it.  And I loved that.  

There are some teachers who just make you see things more clearly, and for me at this time, that's Sister Bailey.  I love the way she thinks.  And I love how she makes me want to dig deeper for more insight.  I'm so grateful for Gospel Doctrine, for people who enlighten my mind, and for the scriptures that are so readily accessible to inspire and uplift us. 

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Muckdogs Baseball

A few months ago we got an email from the coach of the basketball team Mack was on last winter.  He was trying to pull together a baseball team for the spring.  At the time, Mack wasn't involved in any other activities and since he had had such a great experience with basketball, we thought it would be great to have him associated once again with this group of boys and coaches.  So, we signed him up!

Let me just mention that baseball, even for little boys, is a significant investment.   After registration, uniforms, equipment, and sliders! we have determined that Mack will be playing baseball for the next several years (or at least until he grows out of all that stuff) so that we can get our money's worth out of this. 

Other than a few surprising experiences with baseball underwear, though, this whole baseball experience has been awesome.  Last week we had a practice, and two games within three days.  By the last game of the weekend, the boys were really starting to gel as a team and feeling much more confident.  They won their first game of the season and they were thrilled.  We are so grateful to have these amazing opportunities that our kids can be involved in, awesome dad/coaches who volunteer countless hours of their time, and supportive parents who show up to all the games and take pictures that they share!  I love this place!


Thursday, April 19, 2012


There's this really intriguing new show on FOX called Touch.  Kiefer Sutherland is in it, which was the initial draw for me, but the more episodes I watch, the more it's securing its place among my favorites.  This is definitely NOT a Jack Bauer kind of show, though.  In fact, his character doesn't really say or do a whole lot.  He just sort of gets dragged around following the whims of his son who hasn't spoken since his mother was killed in 9/11.  But where those whims take him is really kind of a cool thing.   I like stuff about how people are all intertwined...that nothing is an accident...that all these people who cross our paths in a lifetime serve some purpose.   And then there's all that number sequencing, not-so-random pattern stuff in there, too.  Pretty fascinating show.

This was the narration at the beginning of last week's episode, which I just watched the other night thanks to the miracle of the DVR...

490,000 babies will be born today, each of them unique.  And each one of them a link in the greater human chain.  And the moment their umbilical cord is severed, they’ll become their own hopes, dreams and desires.  Every dream you attain, every desire you fulfill has an impact far greater than you can imagine.  At least that’s how it looks from where I’m sitting.  The threads that connect us are not bound by space and time.  What seems to the individual like a twist of fate, from another perspective is simply one of those threads pulled tight.  What should have been all along.  And even when those threads seem irreparably frayed, they never break. Not completely.  But sometimes the most important connection is here and now.

Makes you want to watch it, huh? 

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Cheese Balls

Things have been a little heavy and oppressive around here for the last couple of days, so I thought I'd lighten things up for a minute.  

Do you know what April 17th is??  Nope, it's not Easter.  Nope, it's not the officially observed Tax Day for 2012.  Nope, it's not just any old Tuesday.  


Yep!  I'm totally serious.  I got an email today with suggestions on how I could celebrate this great day.  And I was so excited to get this news because I happen to LOVE cheese balls.

So, I hope everyone had an exceptionally happy National Cheeseball Day!!  (Sorry this post is coming so late in the day.  Don't worry if you missed it, though...there's always next April 17th!)

Monday, April 16, 2012

Mormon Messages

Did you know that there's a whole Mormon Channel on youtube now?  It's filled with these super cool, church produced, short little Mormon Messages.  I LOVE them!  I've seen them used in church lessons.  The Scout Master saw one in a Stake Priesthood meeting when he was in Utah last month.  TCD has downloaded several onto her new iPHONE!  (yep...we gave in and let her get one...mostly because she paid for it herself)  

And tonight, the Scout Master used this one in his Family Home Evening lesson.  

That led to a discussion about being missionaries and sharing the gospel and then TCD remembered this one that she saw in Seminary...
Amazing!  This one made me cry!! 

It is an awesome and wonderful time that we live in with technology so readily available.  There is so much greatness in the world and with these videos so many more people can be inspired and uplifted by it.  I'm so grateful to have found these little Mormon Messages and I look forward to inviting lots more of them into my home!    

Sunday, April 15, 2012


A few nights ago, Spell Girl asked me a hypothetical question.  "Mommy, if you were in the Hunger Games, do you think you'd win?"  And immediately, without any hesitation whatsoever, I said, "Oh no, I'd probably be the first one out."  The fact is, I would probably run straight for the cornucopia of weapons and supplies knowing that I wouldn't make it out.  (Except that I'm a chicken and scared to death of pain, so maybe I wouldn't do that after all.  But then, there's that nightlock...)  Anyway, the point of all that is that I'm not a fighter or a survivor or a competitor.  I couldn't last a day on any of those reality shows.  If it gets hard, I give up.  If it looks scary, I quit.  If someone says something mean, I curl up in a small ball on the couch and just cry.

So, on Thursday at 5:00am, when I read a frustrating email, my day was finished before it started.  I cried.  And then I called the Scout Master and cried some more.  And then I spent two hours staring blankly at the TV.  By 8:00pm, I still hadn't managed to shake that discouraged, defeated feeling.  I let that email color my entire day.  The next day wasn't much better.  I was still sad.  Those words were still ringing in my ears all day and my discouragement was pushing me toward permanent changes. On Saturday, my sadness and discouragement had been replaced by frustration and anger.  I spent the ENTIRE day rehearsing what I was going to say to the emailer at church today.  I felt like my anger was justified because I had been unjustly accused of something and not even given the opportunity to respond.  

This morning, everything was a little less intense.  I wasn't as sure of my plan of attack, but I went to church feeling confident that everything would work out the way it was supposed to.  The talks in Sacrament were all usual.  We have two cute new missionaries who both introduced themselves and bore their testimonies.  A sister in the RS Presidency who I love, gave a wonderful talk on personal revelation.  And then another sister I love played Abide With Me on the piano.  (Have I mentioned that I LOVE that hymn??)  And then, my very favorite High Councilman spoke (He's my favorite because he grew up in Hawaii and always starts his talks with,"ALOOOOHA!")  His talk was based almost entirely on that Brad Wilcox talk on grace. (I think I've heard that talk quoted and paraphrased at least 10 times in the last three months.  It's a great one.)  So, at the end of an incredible Sacrament, I was a little conflicted about what to do next.  My original plan was to meet the emailer in the hallway and speak my mind.  But now, I also wanted to talk to all the speakers and the pianist and tell them how much I loved what they had done.  

And then, the miraculous happened...I thought about all the times in this blog that I've talked about leaving beautiful footprints.  And I thought that confronting my emailer wouldn't be as beautiful as going up to the stand and telling all those speakers how much they inspired me today.  So I walked toward the stand.  And I left the emailer alone.  I already know what my intentions were (and what they weren't) and I already know my character.  I didn't need to spend time trying to convince someone else of it.  Instead, I gave my RS Pres friend a hug and told her I loved her.  And I gave the pianist a hug and told her how much I LOVE that hymn and how glad I was that she played it today.  And I let the emailer go throughout the day without any incident from me.  

I've been a bridge burner at times in my life.  I've been scary and confrontational.  I've been feisty and disrespectful.  And in the past, I've made permanent, irreparable decisions based on emotion and a momentary lapse of self control.  I don't want to do that anymore.  It's time to Arise and Shine Forth and do something different.  It's time to stand for something better.  It's time to be a survivor.  Today was a good day.  It was a little tiny step in a direction that I want to go.  Hopefully there will be more of them.    

Friday, April 13, 2012

Easter 2012

I'm a teeny bit late getting this posted, but the pictures were too cute not to share.  One of the awesome bloggers I follow had some amazing ideas for Easter morning.  At the time, I thought there was no way I could pull any of them off this year, but I tucked them away for next Easter.  Even with the help of a large Bunny, it just wasn't possible.  But guess what!  It turns out that when you go to Hawaii for 10 days, you come back with some serious jet lag.  It's been over a week, and I'm just barely getting back into my normal sleeping patterns.  Last Saturday night, after taking a two hour DEEP SLEEP that afternoon, I found myself wide awake, alone in the house (well, they were all here...but they were sleeping) with nothing to do but talk the Easter Bunny into some craziness.  

Here's what the Bunny and I did...we tied a different color yarn to each of the kids' Easter baskets and hid them in some very sneaky places.  TCD's was in the pantry in the kitchen.  Mack's was in the garage.  (You get the idea...not the usual places...)  Then we dragged the yarn all over the house until we finally reached that particular kid's bedroom and tied the other end of the yarn to their doorknob with a little note that said, "HAPPY EASTER!  Follow the string to your treats!"  The Easter Bunny apparently keeps the same sleeping habits as I do, so we stayed up until 2:00am winding strings around the whole house.  (We made sure to leave some lights on in case anyone got up in the middle of the night. The last thing I needed was a trip to the ER because someone tripped over my Easter string!)  Here's what it looked like in the morning...
(...picture Catherine Zeta Jones in that laser scene from Entrapment)

It was SO much fun to watch them follow their strings around the house looking for their baskets.  I wish the Easter Bunny could have stuck around for that part.  It took them a really long time and we had to RUSH to get to church on time.  (Which is why no one would let me take pictures of them...)  Next year, when we have 11:00 church, it'll be much easier. 

It's funny how some of my kids were very tidy with their strings and others...not so much.

What a super fun idea...especially with older kids!  (You totally have to keep them guessing.) Can't wait to perfect it next year.  I'm grateful for that five hour time difference that kept me up all week and added a few extra hours to my Easter Eve...and for that adventurous Bunny!

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Getting Up

It's 8:54am and I'm already so DONE with this day.  One sick kid (who I think is totally faking.)  Two trips to the same school because someone realized as we were driving into the parking lot that she'd forgotten her binder.  And a scathing email from someone who completely misunderstood something I said.  I'd like to just lock the door, put on some sweats and go back to bed...and it's possible I'll do soon as I finish this post.

The whole reason I write this blog is to pull myself out of days like this, to remind myself on a daily basis that there is so much more to be grateful for than frustrated about, and to leave at least a couple of "beautiful footprints" behind me.  

I had a hard time thinking of something today.  But in my effort to crawl into a hole in my couch and drown myself in the Food Network, I happened to see a commercial that made me smile.

And anything that dragged a smile out of me today is worth sharing.   
So, we should all get up! get off the couch! and wear something colorful today!!

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Johnny Rodriguez Salon

I spent a totally indulgent four hours in the salon this morning.  

A few weeks ago, I decided that my hair was becoming a source of stress in my life.  There were too many greys and I wasn't loving the natural, super dark, almost black color that I had let grow out for over a year.  I wanted to give it a little lift and do something different before summer, but I didn't know where to go.  I had a great salon in Logan and the girl who did my hair had my favorite colors on file so I always knew exactly what to expect.  I've been unsuccessfully polling the audience to find a good colorist, and finally just decided to go back to the place that I KNOW is the absolute best...Johnny Rodriguez

I first went to Johnny Rodriguez last February when my friend, Karla, said that they were the absolute best!  They were.  I loved the experience.  I loved my haircut.  And I discovered the "Blow Out Bar" where they dry your hair and transform you from tired and boring to movie star beautiful.

Today's appointment was longer and more intense than my last one because there was highlighting and rinsing and tinting and drying and blowing out involved.  But I still loved it.  They have the most comfortable chairs.  And the nicest staff.  And the most attentive stylists I've ever met!  Laura did my color today and talked to me FOREVER about what I wanted and how I wanted to look when I walked out.  She was awesome.  And once again, I walked out of that place with hair that looked even better than I had pictured it in my head.    



Monday, April 9, 2012

Hawaiian Music

When I was in Hawaii last week, I listened to a lot of Hawaiian music on the radio and I heard some familiar songs.  A few took me right back to my house in San Diego with my parents cooking tons of food and inviting all the neighbors over.  There was always music in my house growing up...tons of it!  My parents loved Kenny Rogers, the Oak Ridge Boys, Barbra Streisand, and all the Hawaiian music they brought with them when they migrated from Oahu to California.  At that time, we played RECORDS on the giant console stereo.  They loved Genoa Keawe, and Gabby Hayes, and all the old Hawaiian music.  Then one summer, after a trip to Hawaii, my brothers discovered the Cazimero Brothers and Keola and Kapono Beamer.  

Oh, did they play the HECK out of these records!! 

When I was growing up, my parents tried hard to immerse me in the Hawaiian culture...despite the fact that we lived in southern California...and I did my best to resist it.  I didn't love my Hawaiian name.  I didn't love Hawaiian food.  I thought Hawaiian music was about as uncool as you could get.  At that age, what I really wanted was to look like every other girl in middle school, with silky straight blonde hair and blue eyes, and listen to Top 40 music on the radio.  

It wasn't until much later in life (like last week) that I learned to appreciate my cultural heritage and the things that make me different.  My hair is definitely NOT blonde or silky straight, but it's versatile and thick and it stands out in a crowd.  Some of my closest friends still don't know how to pronounce my name, but I'm better about saying it right when I introduce myself.  And I still haven't acquired a taste for poi...yeah, there's no BUT following that one...I just don't like that stuff.   

There's something about Hawaiian music, though, that has secured a place in my heart forever.  And listening to all those old songs from my childhood last week just reminded me of that.  I love the parents who adopted me for trying so hard to pass on the things they loved.  And I love my mom for just living all that stuff in a way that makes it familiar and effortless for me to embrace it.   

Sunday, April 8, 2012


"May we declare ourselves to be more fully disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ, not in word only and not only in the flush of comfortable times but in deed and in courage and in faith, including when the path is lonely and when our cross is difficult to bear. This Easter week and always, may we stand by Jesus Christ “at all times and in all things, and in all places that [we] may be in, even until death,” 21 for surely that is how He stood by us when it was unto death and when He had to stand entirely and utterly alone. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen."  -Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

Friday, April 6, 2012


For my birthday, I got lots of flowers from people I love (and who apparently love me.) 


They were so beautiful and I loved having them in my house, but the problem with fresh flowers is that they cost money and they only last for a little while.  (And I tend to kill things that are alive, so even the potted flowers didn't last much longer than a month.)

But guess what the Scout master brought in from the yard yesterday!!  
These beautiful things LIVE in my yard!!  And I didn't even know it.  We have white ones and pink ones out there.  And the best thing about them is that they keep regenerating outside!  So, the Scout Master cuts them and brings them inside.  I put them in a pretty vase.  And when they die, we do it all over again!  Perfect, huh?  It's like an unlimited source of beautiful flowers...well, until rose season ends...whenever that is.  But for now, I'm so grateful for the people who planted those gorgeous flowers, for the landscape guys who mulched and trimmed them, and for the Scout Master for thinking to cut them and bring them inside!  (I really should get to know my yard better...)

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Pinewood Derby

Mack had his first Pinewood Derby tonight as a Cub Scout.  I missed all the designing and assembly of his car while I was in Hawaii, but I heard great things about the experience from the Scout Master.
Big Scouts helping with set up and track monitoring
Little Scouts anxiously awaiting the races
Mack's car consistently came in second place in almost all of the heats.

McKay's cool car...#13 (running a backwards race just for fun)
Pinewood Derby engineers
the after party
look at how super cute these treats are!!  Zingers and HoHo's decorated to look like little race cars.  The boys LOVED them!

 (TCD has been permanently attached to my side since I got off the plane...which I kinda don't mind.  I totally missed that girl!)