Tuesday, August 9, 2011


Just before summer, I made a list.  I was trying to stay focused early so that I didn't let the summer schedule get me too far off track.  I put my reminder on top of the pile on my desk so that I would see it often.

Here's what the list looked like: 

a clean house
organizing stuff
spending quality time with family
getting enough sleep
being quiet
playing the piano
reading scriptures
Conference talks
sending letters
going to the Temple
eating good food
self control
drinking water
staying up late
eating crappy food
ice cream
negative people
inappropriate TV 
(This is stuff like Shark Week or those crime shows.  I can really only handle the Food Network and HGTV anymore.  Everything else is way too intense.)

I know it's kind of a juvenile thing to do, because most of those things are so obvious.  But I was trying to give myself a written reminder of the things that help me to stay balanced, feel confident, and be happy...and also a reminder of the things that very definitely don't.  It's funny how without that piece of paper, I sometimes forget what's on those lists.  (Even with the piece of paper, I occasionally still forget.)
The beginning of the summer was so busy that I didn't have time to think about being balanced or not balanced.  I started a great habit of walking for an hour every morning, 6 days a week.  And I threw in the playlist on my Droid so that I could get awesome music in there for an hour a day, too.  Other than that, nothing about this summer has been consistent, reliable or balanced.  And I've noticed that things are starting to creep in that are on that "not so good" list.  Visits to Sonic, hanging out with people I don't enjoy that much, sugary cereal in the mornings instead of spinach smoothies, crappy judgment.  (ugh...)

About a week ago, my neighbor told me about a job opening at the Preschool where she works.  They needed a part time teacher's assistant 2 days a week and I considered it!  My kids would be in school anyway.  It would give my husband a chance to have the whole house completely to himself to work (like I'm such a distraction.)  And it would give me a little extra money every month for house things or pedicures or whatever other non-essential things I usually do without.  So, I sent an email to the preschool supervisor...and then I instantly regretted it.  It's so selfish to want my days to look a certain way and feel a certain way, but things really go so much more smoothly for all of us when they do.   I worried for 7 days that she would actually respond to that email.  And then yesterday I got a response.  "We'd love to talk to you!  If you have time for an interview next Monday, please let us know."  EEK!!!  I paced.  I worried.  I considered.  I made a list of pros and cons.  And then I came to my senses.  Being a part time preschool teacher isn't on any of the lists of things I want to do in my life.  It's not on my Vision Board.  It's not something I would LOVE to do.  Filling that daytime space that I've worked so hard to carve out, with a part time preschool job isn't at all what I intended.  And who needs pedicures anyway???  So, I sent her an email and graciously told her that I had reconsidered and wished her luck in filling the position.  And guess what!  I instantly felt so relieved.  

I realized that I've gotten really careless in the last few weeks about what I let into my space and it's taking it's toll.  There are too many negative people, too much crappy food, and too many fizzy drinks.   And there's not enough sleeping, listening to good music and being quiet happening.  So, I'm reviewing my lists again, and recommitting right now to do more of the stuff on that first one.  There is one last week of summer before we all return to a normal schedule.  But I'm not going to wait until August 22nd.  I have heard so many people say lately that they didn't do as much this summer as they intended to.  And each time I've thought, "Well, there's still a WHOLE WEEK left!  Just do it!"  So, I'm taking my own advice.  




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