Example #1:
It's a pretty widely known fact by now that I'm a vegetarian. I decided last November that I wanted to make some changes, and being healthier was one of them. And then in January, TCD decided that she wanted to try it, too. We eat very little meat, but we're not fanatics about it. I tried a bite of the Scout Master's burger when In-N-Out came to Allen. (And it was the best bite of a burger I've ever had, btw!) And TCD makes exceptions for all forms of Chinese food and her dad's homemade burgers on the grill. For the most part, though, we're pretty consistent about the no meat thing. Lately, though, I hear people asking all the time what they can fix for TCD so that she has something to eat at a party or an activity. Even my mom and Auntie Debbie did that when they were here last week. We would plan dinner and they would say, "What about TCD? What can we get for her?" (Um...hello?)
Example #2:
I have been in the ward choir since we moved here last August. Practices used to be held before church at 10:15am, and since that's a whole 45 minutes earlier than the Sacrament start time, TCD would only occasionally come with me. I mostly sing alto, but if there's a need, I'll fill in on the soprano part. It's not where I'm most comfortable, but I can do it. Yesterday, we started our new choir rehearsal schedule at 4:15pm and since that's a better hour for her, TCD came with me. When we walked in, the choir director said to her, "Oh good, I'm so glad you're here. We need more sopranos. I know you can sing both parts, so if you wouldn't mind switching for today, that would be great." And then she proceeded to tell the choir how versatile TCD is, and how she could probably sing both parts at the same time. (Um...I can't recall TCD ever singing soprano before.)
Last week, for our combined YW Class Presidency meeting, I made that appetizer with the fritos scoops and the cream cheese and salsa dip. I thought everyone had tried that before. It's certainly not an original recipe. I copied it from my sister-in-law, I think. Apparently though, no one at our meeting had ever had it before and it disappeared pretty quickly. So TCD decided that she wanted to bring the same thing to the Fireside last night at the Bishop's house. It's not rocket science. It's just an appetizer. I went to the grocery store on Saturday night, got all the stuff, put it all together on Sunday, and then TCD carried the plate into the Bishop's house. Did anyone say anything to me? Nope. But they ALL gushed over TCD and said. "Oh, this is going to be your signature appetizer!" "Oh, TCD, thanks for bringing this. I love it when you make this!" (Really???)
Needless to say, I've been slightly irritated and a little mopey about this sudden change. It's like going from rockstar status to the rockstar's personal assistant. After the fireside incident, I voiced my concerns to TCD.
ME: Do you think I've become invisible?
TCD: No, I can see you just fine, Mommy.
ME: Well, then why do people forget I'm in the room when you walk in?
TCD: Oh, Mommy. (She might as well have said, "Oh, you silly little insecure thing.")
Here's what I think: People don't know the difference between you and me. You give a good talk and they thank me. I say something funny and they think it was you. We wear the same clothes. We look alike. We both sing. We both play the piano. We're like interchangeable, you know? That's just the way it's going to be forever. So we should just both take it as a compliment and enjoy it.
(And she said that with nothing but total admiration and gratitude in her voice. Like she's been waiting her whole life for this.)
So after that brief, but meaningful conversation, I had a slightly different perspective about the whole thing. Instead of being immature and selfish, I've decided to be thrilled about it. I haven't disappeared into the background. I've multiplied. (which can be either a good thing or a bad thing depending on the day) And how many almost 15-year-olds actually find joy in being like their mothers?? I can't think of anyone else I'd rather give my stage to, or be mistaken for.
I love this girl. I love our interchangeability. In the coming years, it's possible I may have two more little interchangeable components who force me to slip into the background.
And I will be just as thrilled about that, too.
And I will be just as thrilled about that, too.
Love that their are two of you now...PLEASE send one (the original) here soon xoxox
ReplyDeleteI can just see the two of you having this conversation. Two peas in a pod. After spending a few days with all of you and watching how you two interact, it does not suprise me that people would think you are the same person. I can only hope that Grace and I get along as well as you and Savannah do in the years ahead.
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