Tuesday, January 18, 2011


Most people are fortunate enough to have one family who loves and supports them.  I have TWO. 

When I was a little girl, I was way too curious for my own good.  Whenever I had the opportunity, I would snoop around in places that I probably shouldn't have.  On one of those snooping adventures, I found a scrapbook filled with letters congratulating my parents on their adoption.  As an only child, I was curious about this "adopted child" that my parents had hidden somewhere, so when they got home, I asked them about her.  My parents were not happy that I had been snooping (they rarely were happy about that sort of thing), and they were not happy that I found out the way I did, but eventually they gave in and told me the abbreviated version of how they came to adopt me. 
My parents were wonderful people whose selfless decision gave both me and my birth mother opportunities that we might not have otherwise had.  But they were not very open with any information about the details of that selfless act.  Anytime I asked, my mother would just assure me that I was loved and that I didn't need to worry about the rest.  So, I spent the next several years conjuring up the details of that story in my head.  

In March 2008, my mother passed away. Two years later, my father passed away.  During that two years, opportunities came about, pieces were put together, and planets aligned so that I was able to find out who my birth mother was.  

Last week, my husband and I flew to Honolulu to put my parents' ashes in their final resting place.  
my parents are in the green urn in the center...and my grandmother is in the blue urn next to them
...and also to meet my birth mother...

I loved my parents very much and I am grateful to them for all that they did for me throughout my life.  But I always felt like they were VERY different from me.  I didn't look like them or act like them.  We didn't have the same interests or talents.  They were both much taller than I am.  My mother was regal and independent and confident.  She was extremely private and very strict.  I am none of those things.  
I have 4" heels on in this picture!
Guess what!  The people I just spent a week with are just like me!  They're smart and witty and warm and hilariously funny.  They love the same things I love...Old Navy flip flops, Bath & Body Works velvet tuberose lotion, shoes, SALT, and adventures!  And look how TALL I am next to the girls in my family!!  
my husband, Auntie, Mom, Uncle, Sister, two nieces, and ME

It's the most amazing thing to look around and see people who look and act like me.  And it's an even more amazing feeling to BELONG to them.  We had an incredible week with my OHANA and already have plans to go back...next time with the kids...and next time longer than a week! 




  1. You made me cry! I am so glad you had the opportunity to meet your birth mom and that the trip was so amazing for you. You are one of the most amazing people I know and I am so pround and happy to have you as my friend. I luv ya girlfriend!

  2. Oh, I just cried and cried.... I'm so happy that you had the opportunity to make this pilgrimage! What a wonderful tribute to ALL your family and everything in your past that has made you YOU. XOXOXOX my friend.

  3. hey...we didnʻt take a picture :( NEXT TIME. love you sis.

  4. love you, too! miss you already <3

  5. Oh wow!! What a story. Thank you so much for opening your heart and sharing it with us! I find what life is like for someone who was adopted so interesting, wondering what my son will be writing about some day :) It is interesting to hear his spin on his adoption...and it is beautiful since it changes as he gets older. Beautiful story!