Wednesday, January 9, 2013

"Launching isn't Arriving"

Wow!  What a difference a few hours can make.  Last night the weight of my blank canvas got pretty heavy.  I carried it around with me for a long time.  I polled the audience about my restlessness and lack of commitment.  I texted a few close friends and the Scout Master and then after hours and hours of pouring my soul out on people's virtual couches, I heard it!  Just the right words to LAUNCH me into action.  While I commiserated about wanting to do something but not knowing what, Jeanette said exactly what I had been waiting to hear.  I told her how I've done all the little things.  My desk is in order.  All the pencils are sharpened.  I've made enough granola to last into the next generation.  The low hanging fruit has been picked, canned and shelved.  It's time to tackle that list of the REAL stuff I want to do in my life.  The book.  The masters degree.  The solo in Sacrament.  (Eek!!)  Jeanette is an editor and a journalist, and she knows me and has read my blog, so when she encourages I believe her.  She said a lot of awesome things, while I continued to sprinkle in some whining about "how do I start?" "what do I write?"  "what if people hate it?"  She said, "Don't write with your audience/rejection in mind.  Write for yourself, as if you are the only one who will read it, and then it will soar!"  I've heard that before.  That's exactly what the Scout Master said on our date night while I was crying to him about the book.  And then I mentioned my word for 2013.

Jeanette said, "LOVE it!  But Launching isn't arriving."  That's it.  LAUNCHING ISN'T ARRIVING.  How brilliantly simple is that?  And I so needed to hear it.  I feel the urge to LAUNCH something, but the thought of not only LAUNCHING but also FINISHING something was too big.  I needed Jeanette to break it down into smaller, bite sized, manageable chunks for me.  She said, "Write for an hour a day.  Just get those words on the page!"

So last night, I put kids to bed and wrote for an hour.  I just started somewhere.  And I wrote for a whole hour!  The time flew.  I wanted to keep going, but I remember reading somewhere that someone limited herself to just an hour and stopped when things were just getting good so that she would be excited to come back the next day.  I'm SO excited to come back.  It's like this little amazing thing waiting for me.  

Disclaimer:  This book is just this idea that has been swimming around in my head for so long that it has finally outgrown the space.  I'm afraid my head will actually explode if I don't set it free.  So, I don't know where it will eventually arrive, but I'm LAUNCHING it this year.  In fact, I've already done that.  I wrote two whole pages in an hour and since LAUNCHING ISN'T ARRIVING I could be done right now and still have met my goal for 2013.  I won't do that, but it's nice to know that the pressure is now off because I have LAUNCHED something.  Instantly there is peace where there used to be turmoil.  And all because I pestered just enough people with just the right amount of whining.  Thank you, Jeanette.  

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