You know what! I've decided there's nothing quiet, reflective or relaxing about December! I'm craving time to read Christmas books and watch Rudolph's Shiny New Year, but with concerts, football playoff games, class parties, special musical numbers, the Scout Master's end of year travel schedule, and emergency tutoring sessions for finals, we have yet to find a night when we're:
a) all home
b) not exhausted from whatever we've done all day long.
I woke up yesterday morning and realized Christmas is only 8 days away! Panic quickly started to set in. Since when do I not have a week WITH the kids home BEFORE Christmas?? This year, we only have one WEEKEND to do all of our Christmas baking and present wrapping and staying in our jammies all day long! And Friday night is now booked with a little party Spell Girl wants to have at our house, and Saturday is the State Championship football game. Since when does football season last until Christmas??
I have tried so hard this year to keep things simple. I haven't gone crazy with presents and I've said no to everything except the absolutely essential things. But somehow, here it is the week before Christmas and I'm feeling like I just want to turn off the world and hide out in my closet with a book. I don't get stressed out anymore like I used to when I was younger (like last year.) These days, I just shut down. I get to that point when I realize constant motion is no longer working for me, and I just stop moving. Really...
I spent almost all of yesterday trying to do only the most important things, but everything seems "most important" at this time of year. And I spent the rest of the day curled up in a frustrated heap on my couch wishing these next 8 days would hurry up and go by so that the quiet, relaxing part of December can happen. And I also sprinkled in a little bit of eating crappy food and complaining way too much about everything from Institute to recital schedules to the $25 gift card the Scout Master received from one of the guys who works for him. (Ridiculously ungrateful, huh?) And then I got a little reminder from an unlikely source, about what's really important.
I've effectively been put in my place. So today, I'm going to stop complaining and go back to being grateful for happy, healthy children, abundance, opportunities to listen to beautiful music, family to buy presents for, people who invite us to parties, and Seminary.