Sick Days

I have never been a clingy mom.   I adore my children, but I'm a big fan of giving them opportunities to be independent.  And hopefully, that will result in four confident, independent, capable kids, who will someday leave the nest and become confident, independent, capable adults.

But that imminent flight out of the nest seems to be approaching faster and faster lately.  Last week, I definitely felt it as I watched Savannah drive the car out of the driveway and off to the high school...all by herself.  She's had her learner's permit since July and I've gotten quite used to shifting from the driver's seat to the passenger seat.  We've all been anxiously awaiting the time when she wouldn't need a parent in the car with her, when I could hand off some of my driving responsibilities, and when she would be able to DRIVE HERSELF to SEMINARY in the mornings.   So the fact that I've spent the better part of the weekend in an inconsolable heap because of her new found freedom, is slightly shocking.  You'd think I'd be thrilled, but I'm not.  When she drove that car away, it was just like kindergarten all over again.  Once again, I had to let go of that little hand and watch her skip drive happily off to a new life with a little less of her mom's influence.

It's harder than I thought it would be to watch these kids become just what we want them to be...functional, confident, thriving adults.  It feels like there's not enough time left to teach them everything, and have all the conversations, and go on all the vacations, and...ugh!...what else have we missed?? 

So this morning when Savannah woke up with a raging headache, I was a little more willing than usual to let her stay home.  And I got to spend some time babying my oldest baby for a little while, because I can't seem to hold onto these days tightly enough.  They're going way too fast.