It's been an interesting week. I've done the things I always do, that usually are right in my comfort zone, but this week they've felt oddly uncomfortable. Lunch dates are usually my favorite thing on earth to do...unless they're at a restaurant I don't love, with people I'm not very comfortable around, and the food is gross. And then all of a sudden the thing I expected to bring joy and connecting, instead becomes the source of a whole lot of frustration. And then there was the temple. I went on a Wednesday instead of a Thursday this week, and not with my little group. I'm sure any other Wednesday would have been just fine, but this particular Wednesday was frustrating. The one place I can always count on to find quiet and to clear my head of all its many distractions happened to be filled with a lot of distractions yesterday. And I found myself hurrying to get out of there and get back into my peaceful car.
I've been wondering how this average, seemingly unstressful week could have possibly turned into the frustrating one it has become, and here's what I've decided...
It's opposition. Contrast. And although not enjoyable, totally necessary sometimes.
I have a very small group of people I feel comfortable hanging out with. I know them. I know what to expect when I'm with them. They are embracers of routines and appreciators of the ordinary, like me. They are non stressful and non gossipy, even tempered and calm, compassionate and understanding, not like me. I am drawn to anchors. And they are anchors for me. And over the past few years, I have slowly and cautiously gravitated out of isolation and toward them. But they're it. I typically don't do anything with anyone except for my family and that small group of trusted friends.
To have that rare opportunity to be social with an entirely different group of women was a stark contrast. Not because those women aren't great, too. They are. They're just not mine. For a little while after that lunch this week, I retraced all my steps, worried about my outfit, and re-evaluated every word I said and a few I didn't say. And then, I grew weary of all that negative thinking, and decided to just be extremely grateful to have a little group who I never EVER feel that way around. I love going to the temple with them. I love that they are quiet when I want to be quiet. I love that they rejoice in the sometimes long list of things I freely gush about. I love that they don't mind that I ask too many questions, use way too many words, and talk ten times more than they ever do.
And so, looking back on this week, it really hasn't been all that frustrating. It's just been clarifying. I think I picked well. I think I'll stick with my little band of sisters.
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