Tonight, while I was snuggling with Spell Girl, we had this conversation...
Me: Your hair smells delicious!
SG: Yeah, I really like that new shampoo.
Me: Did I get you new shampoo?
SG: Well, it's not exactly new. I've had it for a month, but it's a different flavor than the kind I used to get. And I like it. And I'm almost out of it.
Me: You know what I wish?
SG: What Mommy?
Me: I wish that someday I will be able to go to the store and buy 12 shampoos so that you never run out. I wish for fully stocked cabinets and pantries all the time. That's my goal in life.
SG: That's a good goal, Mommy. I promise when I'm a wealthy writer I'll help you achieve that goal.
Me: haha...You'll use your riches to help your mother buy lifetime supplies of toilet paper and cotton balls?
SG: Yep. If that's what you want.
What a sweetie! She drifted off to sleep after that, but I just stayed in her room smelling her hair. A few minutes later I wandered downstairs into my bathroom to get ready for bed. I opened the door to the linen closet because I realized I was out of toothpaste and then I realized something else. I have 5 other brand new boxes of toothpaste still on that shelf. And right next to them, I have dozens of bars of soap. And right next to that, I have supplies of deodorant and kleenex and medicine and TOILET PAPER! (There are at least 30 rolls of toilet paper in my bathroom at this very moment. And the upstairs bathroom is well stocked, too. I might be slightly paranoid about running out of toilet paper.) It's not quite a lifetime supply, but it's abundant and it's enough.
In just the two seconds it took me to walk to the linen closet and grab a toothpaste, I realized that I've actually already achieved my goal. My cabinets and pantry are already stocked. There hasn't been a time over the last two years when they've been empty. I have enough grocery money to restock them every two weeks and still pop into the grocery store to get the little things I forget during the week. There hasn't been a time in the last two years when I haven't been able to do that. Right now, in my kitchen, I have a refrigerator and pantry that are overflowing. And I have the beginnings of tomorrow's breakfast and lunch overflowing on the counter. There has never been a time in the last two years when I have not had enough to make my kids healthy meals every day. There has never been a time when I couldn't pull together dinner for a friend.
I can remember a time when that wasn't the case. Most of the seven years we lived in Utah were less than abundant. To say that money was tight would be a huge understatement. I watched grocery ads and clipped coupons. I learned how to make dinners from food storage. We had fruit trees and a substantial garden that provided the fresh produce we needed and I learned how to can and store most of it. We had chickens who laid eggs daily and our children became experts in collecting the eggs even on the snowiest mornings. We had what we needed, but I definitely wasn't in a position at that time to build a stockpile of toilet paper or shampoo. Today is a long way from 2 years ago in that little farmhouse in Utah.
I am so grateful for the experience of going without THEN so that I could cherish the blessing of abundance TODAY. I am grateful for the people who lifted us out of our financial burdens so often. I am grateful for the people who launched us into finding a better job and a better situation for our family. I am grateful for the opportunity that we had to start over again. I am grateful for bathrooms and kitchens that are well stocked tonight. And I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who reminds me on a daily basis that I'm already living all the dreams I've ever had.