We've had two mega-long, super intense rehearsals this week. These are always the rehearsals where the directors start to freak out a little because they're the ones when the full concert is being run, because not enough of us are entirely ready, because tickets aren't completely sold yet, and occasionally because not all of the music is entirely composed. I can't quite imagine what the weight of that must feel like...
This morning, Emma's call time was at 8:00 but mine wasn't until 9:30, so I thought I'd maximize my time by sitting in the parking lot and running through all those practice tracks they've been sending us and cramming a few of those songs into my head...
...which was a great plan, except that the amount of water needed for 90 minutes of singing in one's car = at least a couple of emergency trips to the bathroom. I put it off as absolutely long as I possibly could, and when I couldn't wait any longer, I ran inside to go to the potty.
Literally, I RAN inside, found the restroom, and because I am also a maximizer of quiet spaces, I happened to take a minute to say a tiny prayer while I was in the privacy of that quiet bathroom. In the less than 30 seconds I spent in there, I asked that my memorizing efforts would be enough, that the abundance of willingness and enthusiasm I had would make up for whatever I lacked in memorization, and that I would be able to contribute to this choir that I love in a useful and meaningful way.
And then I walked out of the bathroom and ran into the DMCO Manager and coordinator of all things concert related...and probably everything else. She's also my friend and I run into her on a fairly regular basis at rehearsals. We had a super quick conversation, and we talked and hugged like we usually do, and about two minutes later when I left her, I was all of a sudden in charge of Jenny Oaks Baker's dressing room and all of her comforts while she is in town with us. (water, snacks for Thursday night, more snacks and dinner for Friday night, the bouquet she receives after both performances, etc...)
Um...?? How exactly did that happen?
What I thought I was praying for was confidence with my part, and confidence with the words. I stand in the front row, for heaven's sake. I should know the words. And I'm a core singer. When the people next to me lean in closer and try to hear the Alto II part better, I think I should probably be singing the right notes. That's it. One tiny little request.
Instead I got Jenny Oaks Baker. Apparently Heavenly Father sees much more potential in me than I do. I have no idea how to order a bouquet of flowers for a professional musician! Or how to prepare a tray of healthy, but substantial snacks for a performer! Or how to greet America's Violinist! Holy cow...!
So...here we go into yet another foreign territory, mustering up confidence I definitely do not have to do things I definitely do not know how to do. What I do have is willingness, though, and a blazing desire to contribute in a meaningful way.
"God does not begin by asking us about our ability, but only about our availability, and if we then prove our dependability, He will increase our capability." - Neal A Maxwell
I will be counting on that quote next week because in addition to the new and exciting Jenny Oaks Baker stuff I will be doing, I also still need to memorize the rest of my music...and submit 25 CSM photos!