I did not have a plan yesterday...except for my secret hope that since Sunday was a small train wreck that the opposition following wouldn't be quite so bad. Yeah, that didn't work.
I can always feel it coming. When my window with Savannah is about to close, I start to get that suffocating feeling. When I drop Craig off at the airport, or lately, at his rental car, I start to think about the empty house I'll come home to after Institute and that panicky feeling starts to creep in. And it didn't help that yesterday was rainy and grey...
I knew it would be hard.
And so what did I choose to do with that horrible empty space after Institute when the house was all dark and gloomy and cold? I watched Forrest Gump. Great plan, huh?...I cried from the beginning of that movie until the dang end of it. ugh...
And then there was a lizard in my house.
Can you even see him? I know he's small but sometimes the small things are the most intimidating especially when they're fast! And the creepiest part was that I thought he was a leaf so I almost picked him up! (ack! I would still be washing my hands right now if that had actually happened...) Another reason to not love being alone in my house on a rainy Monday. Displaced lizards.
So I did the only thing I could think of. I texted Megan...
I lost track of the lizard after awhile and I haven't seen him since, so I'm just going to assume he got bored here and let himself out the way he came in.
By 2:30, there was so much to do that I didn't have time to think about Monday discouragement or lizards or Forrest Gump anymore. Emma had a choir rehearsal from 4:00-5:00 and then had to be back at the HS from 6:00-6:45 for something else. McKay had a rehearsal after school until 4:30. And Megan stayed after school to practice for her orchestra final. There was dinner in there somewhere, I think. And homework. Megan was up until about 10:00 writing a song for an English assignment.
Sometime during Emma's hour long break, the tornado clouds started to roll in and we were caught driving around in the middle of a torrential downpour for about 20 minutes. We had to park under a tree and wait out the hail for awhile just to protect the poor car. I wonder if the weather in Birmingham is as diverse and interesting as the weather in Texas? Surely not.
And then, after all of that tumult and chaos, the clouds parted and what was left of the day tried to make itself visible between those dark clouds. So I sat there for a minute before we drove home and thought about the similarities between that sky and my day. I had definitely had my torrential storm earlier. I have them more often than I think I should...when it feels like I'm just not going to be able to stop the tears. But eventually they stop. Eventually lizards let themselves out the door. Eventually the overwhelming weight of whatever responsibility I have coming up is alleviated because stuff gets done. Eventually I hear from Savannah again. Eventually someone says some tiny, unexpected thing that makes my whole day.
The storms never last forever. And the best thing about those storms is that they sure make me appreciate the sunny days a whole lot more.
"If we have a good miserable day once in awhile, or several in a row, stand steady and face them. Things will straighten out. There is a great purpose for our struggle in life." - Boyd K Packer