Solitude

1200 miles, 48 hours, 1 hotel room, way too many rest stops, and we are finally back in Texas!  We had such a great time on our trip, but we are SO HAPPY TO BE HOME!  I don't think I've ever been so grateful to go to the grocery store or to do laundry or to make dinner in my own kitchen.  

This morning I slept until 8:00am and then went for a perfect walk all by myself.  As much as I have loved walking with my father-in-law and exercising with my friends, there is nothing better than being alone on a walk with my Droid.  It's been a month since I've listened to my playlist, and I was starting to feel a little bit like that MCC song...

I have a need
For solitude
I'll never be
Safe in crowded rooms
I like the sound
Of silence coming on
I come around
When everyone has gone

I have a need
For cool, verdant spaces
Beneath the trees
Secret empty places
Nobody knows
So no one will intrude
I have a need
For solitude

I loved the hour of solitude that I had this morning.  I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with family and friends over the last month, but by the end of the trip, I was really looking forward to coming home and just being quiet.  I'm better at that lately.  I like social events and crowds, but I like peace and quiet so much more.  

"Collaboration and connecting with others is a beautiful thing, but in the end, creation is done in solitude. All great art is done in isolation. All creative work must be done by shutting out the outside world, sitting down, and creating."

I'm not creating anything at the moment, certainly not great art, but I have definitely learned the value of clearing my head of the outside world for awhile and just being still.  If you're never quiet, you'll never hear anything worth listening to.

Awhile ago, I read an article about introverts and extroverts.  

The real difference between introverts and extroverts is in what energizes them. Ask yourself this question, “Where do you get your energy: by being alone or by being with others?” Or conversely, “What drains you: being alone or being with others?”
Introverts are energized by being alone. People drain us. Extroverts are energized by others. Being alone drains them.

When I read that article, I thought for sure that I was an extrovert, and probably at the time, I actually was.  But things change.  People change.  Experiences and circumstances change us.  And oddly, one of the things that has changed the most about me is my comfort level when I'm alone.  I totally and completely enjoy just being by myself.  A perfect day for me is when everyone is at school or work and I am left alone to rattle around my house all by myself.  Six hours of that energizes me enough to be ready to greet my family in the afternoon.  It's been a challenge to find ways to carve out solitude in the middle of the summer, especially on vacation.  But the best thing about having older kids is that they need me a little less than they used to.  They sleep late.  They hang out with friends.  They read books.  So, every now and then when there's even a small window of opportunity for solitude,  I ALWAYS take it!

I'm so happy to be at home...sleeping in my own bed, cooking in my own kitchen, and immensely enjoying some much needed solitude.

"There is no clock, no matter how good it may be, that doesn't need resetting and rewinding twice a day--once in the morning and once in the evening. In addition, at least once a year it must be taken apart to remove the dirt clogging it, straighten out bent parts, and repair those worn out. In like manner, every morning and evening a man who really takes care of his heart must rewind it for God's service.... At least once a year, he must take it apart and examine every piece in detail--that is, every affection and passion--in order to repair whatever defects there may be." - An Introduction to the Devout Life