The Mess

This morning I wandered through the house looking at all the piles of things that seem to be taking over so many of the rooms, and I got exceedingly discouraged.  These kids are not new to cleaning.  They have had jobs and responsibilities since they were old enough to hold a vacuum.  And I JUST lectured them this morning about how things pile up too quickly after the Saturday jobs are over.  But, for some reason, not one person heard my pleas.  I'm happiest when my space is uncluttered and tidy, and I want my children to experience that happiness, too...clear desks, made beds, folded clothes, things where they're supposed to be...bliss, right?? 

Well, apparently not for everyone...

Some of us like to sleep in small nests with all of our things around us in case we have a moment of creativity in the night...

Some of us think it's more practical to leave the drawers and containers open because we're just going to use all that stuff again tomorrow...

Some of us are easily distracted by the shinier, fun things in our rooms and we never get around to picking stuff up off the floor...

Some of us don't see the point in making a bed when it's just going to be slept in again in 12 hours...

My first reaction this morning was anger and frustration.  In past years, I would have just grabbed a trash bag, tossed everything into it, and hauled it off somewhere.  Sometimes that's been just to my closet, and other times, when I'm more angry than rational, I've actually hauled the bags right to the trash.  I stopped this morning and took a breath instead of running around looking for trash bags.  I realized that it would teach them nothing if I just picked everything up for them and threw it away.  I might enjoy a clear floor for a few hours while they're at school, but they would have missed all the time, energy and emotion it took for me to get that floor clean.  And my few moments of irrationality would have just caused further challenges down the road when important things needed to be replaced.  (I know this from experience.)

So...I sat in one of the rooms that had the least number of piles and just thought.  

Then I went to my desk and listened to a Conference talk about parenting.  

...still frustrated but not so angry...

and then I wandered to this blog post on money and kids that I read a few months ago.  

I have spent the day devising a new plan for our family so that the people who like clean and organized things will be happy and the people who need to learn how to manage money will also be happy.  There are zones involved and checkbook registers and practice schedules.  I haven't worked out a complete plan that I'm happy with yet, but it's getting there.  It might take a few trials and re-workings before we get one that fits everyone.  

When everyone came home from school today, we had a little talk over a snack (delivered from a calm, rational mother) and then before TV, games, or friends, I made them all clean the messes they had left this morning.  And everyone was happy...

I'm grateful to have taken a breath and not thrown away all of my childrens' belongings today.  I'm grateful for Conference talks.  I'm grateful for inspired moms who share their success on their blogs.  And I'm grateful that my biggest challenge most weeks is trying to figure out how to get my kids to do their jobs.  As I sat in each of their rooms this morning, I thought about how different they all are, and how hard they try to do their best.  Unfortunately that doesn't often include cleaning their rooms.  But, taking that minute just to be still this morning, reminded me how truly blessed I am to have healthy, smart, vibrant kids who sometimes make a mess.  

Hopefully the next time I dare to take pictures of my kids' rooms, they'll be a little tidier.