Enough

I have a hard time knowing when to try to be amazing and when to just do ENOUGH.  Last night was the Cub Scouts' annual Blue and Gold Banquet.  I've been to a couple of these, but I've never been a den leader before so I've never really paid attention to what they looked like or noticed all the details of the "behind the scenes" efforts.  There's a lot more to those things than I ever realized.  And I wasn't even in charge of this one!

Early last month, the entire Cub Committee divided up responsibilities and I took TABLE DECORATIONS and COOKIES.  I really thought it would be a breeze to have the Webelos make little robots that could double as both Craftsman requirements as well as decorations for the banquet.  And I already know I can make sugar cookies in my sleep.  Seriously, I think I could actually do that.  So how hard could it be to get a few tin foil robots together and blast out several dozen sugar cookies.  Easy peasy, right?

Somehow the reality of it all is never easy peasy.  I don't know why that is.  Do you think it's just me or does everyone feel that way?  And I don't know why it is that everything turns into a small tornado on the day of an event.  Well, I do kinda know why that is.  I am the world's biggest procrastinator.  I pretend to prepare for stuff, but I leave a lot of stuff for the day of.  And PROCRASTINATION = TORNADOES.  

Yesterday, I agreed to meet the Cub Committee Chair (is that even what she is?  I'm not sure) at the church at 10:00 in the morning to decorate for the banquet.  I planned to leave at exactly 9:55 which would get me there right at 10:00…except...recyclables that have been barely glued together by 10 year old boys and precariously perched into strange robot forms are not as portable as plain old recyclables.  It took me 15 minutes to load the Jeep.  So I was already late…

My vision of the "set up" went like this…I will carry in the robots from my car, put table cloths on the tables, set the robots in the middle, and then go to lunch with a friend.  Nope.  My 10:30 target exit time came and went while we hauled stacks of tables and chairs out from under the stage in the gym and set them up.  I honestly have never done that in my life.  I just assumed everyone's husbands were responsible for tables and chairs.  Apparently not.  Please don't tell Craig that I'm ridiculously spoiled and sheltered.  I don't think he knows. 

We set up 9 round tables for seating and three long tables for food.  And then I got to the part where I was finally able to put table cloths on them and select the perfect robot home for each of the boys' creations.  They looked a little sparse to me, so I sprinkled some nuts and bolts that I had fished out of Craig's tool boxes and brought with me.   

At that point, I was technically finished with my part of the banquet, except for the cookies which were still at home and not quite ready.  But as I looked around the room, I wondered if we needed MORE.  More what?  I don't really know.  More flash?  More robots?  More inventions?  More tin foil??  That's the point where my mind starts to wander and the regret sets in for not starting things earlier.  If only I had started in January when I found out about this, I could have made a LIFE SIZED robot that could have greeted the boys at the door!  If only I had started last week, I could have wrapped the entire gym in tin foil and hung giant nuts and bolts from the ceiling!  ugh…I have a serious problem.

Fortunately time was not on my side for any grand plans and I had completely booked the rest of my afternoon with a lunch date and another batch of cookies still left to make.

  
In less than two hours I made 4 dozen robots and threw in an extra 2 dozen...those are gears, not grey flowers...because what if one of the boys didn't want to decorate a robot?  What if someone just wanted to eat an already frosted cookie?  And I think in the past, they usually just buy a giant sheet cake from Costco for dessert and what if the adults were disappointed that they would have to prepare their own dessert this time??  I bought frosting instead of making my own,  but I decided that I didn't want it to just be plain white, so I scrounged through my food coloring and mixed like a mad chemist to get the perfect shades of bright, bold, BOY colors!   Except gears can't be frosted with bright colors or they might be mistaken for flowers, so I mixed up a half batch of royal icing and tried desperately to make it look like a very industrial, very non-floral, metallic grey.  Instead, I got that color up there.  

Am I making your head spin yet?  Wait there's more...

I realized at 5:15 that the boys might not know what to DO with the unfrosted cookies and that I should have made a poster or a prototype or something.  EEK!  I hurried and stuffed my hair in a clippy and put on my Scout uniform which I still do not love and absolutely dread putting on once a week.  Even sparkly earrings and lipgloss can't make that thing look feminine.  And I left the poster to Emma who was very capable and more than willing to help me get it done.  No flashing lights, no fancy details, just the necessary information combined with a few juice box robots to make it interesting.  

McKay, Emma and I loaded all that stuff into the car…posters, cookies, frosting, trays, my camera, and whatever else I could think of, and drove to the church for our 6:00 call time.  We got there at 6:10.

The point of all that madness is not to prove to you that I'm a lunatic, although I probably did do a pretty good job of that.  The point is that all of the craziness and time spent worrying yesterday was completely unnecessary.  The boys absolutely loved the night, and therefore, the parents and the leaders loved the night.  Other people filled in the gaps that I thought I had left out.  And the evening was a huge success.  

Emma and a few of the other "big sisters" who came were such a huge help all night long.  They served food, made sure little hands didn't reach for their own pickles, helped younger kids build burgers, and then rationed out frosting for the cookies.  I love those girls so much.  The food portions of the evening would have been complete chaos without them.  

The lesson I keep learning over and over in my time here on earth is that less is ENOUGH.  Little boys don't miss things like LIFE SIZED robots, and no one was expecting the room to be wrapped in tin foil.  Even the women don't need or expect all that fluff for RS meetings.  A grand ice sculpture can never substitute for a great spiritual message and time to connect with sisters.  The church doesn't have to be perfect.  My house doesn't have to be perfect.  The food doesn't have to be perfect or even completely ready when friends arrive.  People prefer comfort and warmth and a relaxed hostess over perfection, I've found.  

I am so grateful to be involved in Cub Scouts for a short time.  There are lessons to be learned here.  It is a huge blessing to get to work on all these requirements with McKay for the next few months and to see what actually goes on behind all these Cub Scouts' scenes.  I am immensely grateful for all the people who have worked quietly and in unspectacular, but much needed ways over the years to bring together things like Blue and Gold banquets and Pinewood Derbys and Rain Gutter Regattas.  I had no idea how many hands it takes to efficiently organize a little pack of Cub Scouts.  

Baking

I never realize until I have an event to bake for, how much I actually enjoy the whole process of making cookies.  I usually take the easy way out and just make chocolate chip cookies for the kids because they're so fast.  But today required a little more effort.  

So I made sugar cookie dough early this morning.  Chilled it for 2 hours.  Rolled it out on my counter.  Cut it into little tulip shapes.  Baked them.  And decorated them. 

Isn't it amazing that a little butter, sugar and flour can turn into these beautiful, delicious things??

the DO NOT CONSUME list

If you KNEW something wasn't great for you, would you do it anyway?  If you KNEW the side effects were more than undesirable, would you take the chance?

What if it was something you LOVED!?

What if you could NEVER have it again?? ...like EVER??  

I've been experimenting with food lately and I've discovered that I can't eat anything with sugar in it.  At all.  In any form.  Or any amount.  

When I eat a cookie (or several cookies,) or have cereal, or indulge in dessert of any kind, and especially if my whole day has a sugar theme to it, I instantly go into this euphoric, groggy, sleepy state...like the tryptophan effect after Thanksgiving.  And then, whether I give in to the nap or not, about an hour later, my mood plummets into one of a handful of things: grumpy, irrational, hopeless, angry, easily offended, worried, frustrated, selfish, OCD, frenzied, insecure.  I haven't figured out yet which sugary thing turns me into which monster.  It might just be like a giant roulette wheel of multiple personalities in my head.  But, the fact is, it happens, it's uncontrollable, I hate being there, and it's a direct result of carelessness with food.

So, if you KNEW that if you ate a donut, there was a 100% chance you would turn into Frankenstein within the hour, would you ever eat one?  Probably not, right?  

My daughter KNOWS that she has a severe allergy to tree nuts.  When she eats even a microscopic speck of an almond, a walnut, a pistachio, or a cashew (those are the worst) she goes into anaphylactic shock.  Her throat closes up. Her face swells.  She gets hives all over her little body.  That's a pretty good deterrent for her.  She isn't crazy about that feeling and therefore, she NEVER eats those things.  She inspects every dessert that isn't made by her mother.  She turns down anything questionable.  She won't go near a granola bar.  And we also have precautions in place so that if she ever accidentally ingests a nut, she can administer to herself a dose of anti-nut-venom (otherwise known as an Epi-pen.)  So far, we haven't ever had to use the Epi-pen, but she carries one in her backpack and we have one at home...just in case.  

You'd think it would be that black and white with me, wouldn't you?  

I've tried some really drastic experiments, like eliminating all white stuff (flour, sugar, potatoes, rice, pasta, bread) for awhile (sometimes a weekend detox, sometimes up to 10 days.)  And guess what!  The longer I stayed away from sugar, the more even-tempered I was.  I had more energy, slept better, looked better, felt better, and lost a little weight.  

Success should equal repetition, right?

Well, apparently only until the first holiday rolls around.  

I am not a candy freak, by any means.  I could go my whole life and not miss Peeps or Jelly Beans or M&Ms or gummy things.  But something about putting small handfuls of them into colorful plastic eggs and throwing them on the grass makes that candy SO much more enticing.  I wonder if broccoli would look as good stuffed inside a plastic egg??

I gave in to every sugary temptation that crossed my path on Sunday.  And that led to a weakened resolve on Monday.  And then there were 50% off Easter sales, and I'm such a sucker for anything on sale.  And then I thought that since I was already off the wagon, I might as well just give in to the temptation I was really struggling with and get the dang Vanilla Bean Cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory.  And I'm sure you can see how my life might have spiraled out of control in just 72 hours???  

So, last night, as I sat curled up in my room like a wounded porcupine, I wondered if maybe all that sugar had had an effect on my typically sunny personality.  I'm pretty sure it did.  

So I decided that I needed some absolutes.  Things I can NEVER eat again...unless I'm willing to suffer the consequences.  I'm an all or nothing kind of a girl, and the ALL sugar method isn't working, so in desperation I'm trying the NOTHING method.

And I'm displaying them here...on this blog...publicly...so that it will be like a declaration.  And also, so that if you ever see me in The Cheesecake Factory you have permission to drag me the heck out of there.  

 Haunani's official DO NOT CONSUME list

ice cream 

cheesecake

cookies

cake

donuts

chocolate

(I had to name those things specifically because I would find a way to get to them if I didn't)

white rice

white pasta

white bread

potatoes

pizza 

movie popcorn

chips

dairy products

and...

anything from a convenience store

anything from a drive thru (except Sonic ice)

Diet DP, Diet Coke and any other form of caffeinated bubbles (aka Liquid Satan) are also on that list, but they've been there for awhile, and aren't as much of a temptation.  I know better after a year of battling with that absolute.  

Does that make your heart break to see all that stuff on that list?  Yep...mine too.  

But, I know it's the right thing to do.  I know that when I've made the effort before, I've been so much happier and not missed all that stuff at all.  I see great things as a result of sticking to that list of absolutes.  I prefer the longer list of REPLACEMENTS that I have on my fridge.  

Maybe this should be another LAUNCH update, because um...here we seem to be going again...LAUNCHING into something crazy, foreign, scary and with no guarantees of success.  But since I did that whole Book of Mormon pageant thing, I'm feeling pretty confident flying out of my little nest.  Hopefully this LAUNCH will be just as successful.  

Wish me luck!

Valentine's Day 2013

Last night I started baking cookies for Mack's class party at school.  And since I was already baking, I thought I'd try those cute fortune cookies again.

Here's the break down on those.  They're SO easy...really.  

Recipe:
1/2 cup of all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon of vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon of almond extract
2 large egg whites
3 tbsp vegetable oil
1 1/2 tsp of cornstarch
1/4 tsp of salt
3 tsp of water

1) Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.
2) Mix all the ingredients together in a bowl.
3) Spoon a tablespoon of batter onto a cookie sheet and spread it out in a 4" circle.
4) Bake 5 minutes or until edges are golden brown around the edges.
5) Quickly remove from cookie sheet, place fortune inside and fold in half and then bend cookie over the edge of a cup or a mug to get it curvy.  Place in a muffin tin until cooled so that it retains its shape.

I dipped these in pink candy melt and added some little chocolate sprinkles just to make them festive, but they're pretty cute just plain, too.

 And then I put one in each of the kids lunches.  Cute, huh?

I made enough to spread some fortune cookie love around the neighborhood, and put them into cute little Chinese take out boxes.

I would totally make these again.  It took me an hour to make 17, and except for the part where I burned my fingers every time I tried to fold one, it was really easy.

Then Mack and I made heart shaped sugar cookies for his class and he finished up his Valentines.  We found these cute fishbowl printables on Etsy and just added a few Swedish fish.  

4th graders are so easy to please.  Mack's teacher and I decided a few weeks ago that simple would be the best plan for this party.  

So, I bought white bags for them to decorate...

 ...then they passed out all their Valentines...

and we played a few games...like stacking conversation hearts.  Pretty fun!  

I love Valentine's Day.  I love any excuse to pop in and deliver little gifts to my friends and neighbors.  And I love any excuse to make sugar cookies.  I think Mack had a great time at his class party and even though it wasn't huge and elaborate, I don't think one person noticed.  I'm so glad that this party came together so well, and that all those 4th graders are so wonderful and polite.  There won't be very many years to be the Class Party Mom, so I'm soaking in every minute of this experience while I can.  

Oh, and here's the best part...when I got home there were steaks marinating and THESE on my counter...

Hope your Valentine's Day has been great and that lots of love has been floating around your space!  <3

A Fleet of Snowmen

Here's what I've been doing for the last two days!  (I'm sure there is probably a way I could have divided up the bulk of this work and spread it out over the entire week, but that's not usually how I roll.  I prefer to save it all for the very last minute and then race around in a mad rush trying to pull it all together.  That just seems to work for me.)

In October, I agreed to be the Party Mom for Mack's 4th grade class.  How ridiculous is that?  That is so far from the way I think anymore, it's not even funny, which is probably a lot of the reason I left the details of this party till the very last minute.  There are six 4th grade classes, each with their own party mom, and at this school, they form a Party Team and make all the parties for the grade level totally identical.  We have a lead Party Mom, but I'm not sure which one she is, who called a meeting early in November to get ideas for the Christmas party.  I missed that meeting.  I received email after email with details and suggestions, some of which seemed way too much for me to handle, so I just volunteered to make the treat for all the classes.  They had decided on a snowman theme, so I remembered a cute Melted Snowman cookie that last year's Party Mom used in June's class, and thought I could just re-create that.  Sugar cookies are my thing.  I can make them in my sleep.  So I knew that mass producing snowmen cookies would be much easier than planning a game or a craft.  I wasn't intimidated at all by 132 cookies.  

And then yesterday I started making them...

It wasn't difficult.  It just took A LOT longer than I expected.  

This is the sugar cookie recipe I have used since the Scout Master and I got married.  It is the BEST ever.  

And it came out of this recipe book from the first ward we were in when we were newly married.  LOVE those ward cookbooks!!

I made four batches and stopped counting cookies after I got to 100 because there were clearly more than enough.

I frosted them with royal icing...my super favorite thing on the planet for decorating sugar cookies.  It's just egg whites and powdered sugar and it sets SO fast.  This was the fun part for me...because as it turns out, I'm much better at mass production than I am at the precision work.  

I frosted 8 cookies at a time, and let them sit on a wire rack while I partially melted large marshmallows to look like snowman heads.

It was a little tricky to get just the right number of marshmallows and just the right time.  If you leave them too long in the microwave they double in size and are way too big to be proportionate to the rest of the cookie body.  And they're too melty to pick up.  (Don't forget to spray the plate with cooking spray because they definitely are sticky!)  

I attached the melty marshmallows to the still sticky icing and then threw on three mini chocolate chips to look like buttons that had randomly melted off. 

After the icing was completely set (a couple of hours) I enlisted the help of some daughters to draw faces and pipe scarves on them.  (I did a batch or two BEFORE I figured out that the chocolate chips go on so much easier while the icing is still wet.)

I kept repeating all of that stuff up there until it was time to make dinner.  Then I started again until it was time to leave for Spell Girl's bass recital.  And then I started again after all the kids went to bed.  It was a long and tedious night.  By midnight, this entire table was covered with snowmen.  And by 12:30, I could no longer think, or see, or detail anymore little melty snowmen, so I opted for sleep.

I was nervous this morning when I woke up, and I fully expected to have to RUSH to finish all the details I had left last night.  Before I even walked into the kitchen at 6:00am, I said a prayer and asked Heavenly Father to make up whatever difference there was left.  I said, "Here's what I have... these messy-looking cookies, these good intentions, and this desire for my son to remember that his mom was involved in his 4th grade life.  Please make it enough."  When I finally mustered up enough courage to get off my knees and venture into the kitchen, I saw these adorable little faces.  It was like a fleet of little snowmen waiting to greet me and get started with the day.  They were so much cuter than when I left them the night before.  

I divided them up into six trays, one for each 4th grade class.

And then I stacked the trays into my favorite dessert carrier.  

And by 7:00am, my little fleet was ready to go to the elementary school and have a Christmas party!

It's such a small thing to be grateful for, but my little snowman fleet made me so happy this morning.  I needed extra help today.  I needed to know when to stop, what was good enough, and how to find joy in the things that mattered.  The cookies were important, but there were other more important things.  I'm grateful that even though the cookies didn't change overnight, my perspective did.  I'm grateful that it felt like I had extra hours in my day today.  And I'm grateful that even without the Diet DP that I desperately wanted, I still had plenty of energy to pull off a party for 17 fourth graders.  It was a good day.