Confidence

"Being confident of this very thing, that He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ." - Philippians 1:6

There are things that I desire in my life.  Not things like that cute moppy dog I want so badly or the baby grand piano I'm sure would look fabulous in my new house in Birmingham.   Different things.  Things that are desires of my heart that I did not choose, but that were placed there by Someone who knows me better than I know myself.  Someone who can see the entire picture instead of just the limited perspective I have.  Someone who doesn't just want me to have a fluffy walking companion or a beautiful new piano, but who wants me to fill the measure of my creation and live up to a divine potential I can't even fathom most days.  

My heart longs to sing with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.  I will never be content just listening to them.  I want to sing with them.  I didn't put that longing there.  My head would never have chosen such a lofty goal, and it often still doesn't believe I'm capable of ever accomplishing something so enormous.  And as we keep moving further away from Utah, my chances of being in the Tab appear to be growing logistically less and less likely.  Nevertheless, the desire is there as much today as it was years ago when I first heard that magnificent choir.     

My heart longs for other strange and seemingly unlikely things that I also didn't choose, but that have become like beacons of light drawing me toward people and opportunities which would otherwise never have crossed my path.  Rural photography.  Viral missionary efforts.  The entire continent of Africa.  And a handful of other things that seem impossibly out of my reach.  But yet, there they still are...inspiring me, motivating me, and pushing me toward progress and refinement.  

That scripture in Philippians is a hopeful reminder that if He put those strange and improbable desires in my heart, then He must have a plan for me to achieve them.  That even when I grow restless and tire of longing for the same things year after year, if I am patient, if I stay close to the Spirit, and if I listen for further instruction, I won't ever have to manipulate situations or run around trying to force things to happen.  I can simply trust that if He "began a good work" in me, "He will perform it" until it is complete.  And His completion surely will look even more amazing than anything I've imagined in my head.  

...and hopefully along the way, however long the journey, I'll acquire a few helpful attributes that will come in handy when I get to that place of completion.  

Throwback Thursday

In 2003, just after McKay was born, we sold our beautiful home in Atlanta and moved to Utah.  

Craig had plans to open his own insurance agency once we got to Cache Valley, but there was a transition period while he looked for office space, trained with Allstate, and took a series of licensing exams.  For almost 3 years, we lived in his parents' basement.  Even though my in-laws had a lovely, spacious home and generously shared it with us, I don't often look back on those "basement years" with fondness.  It was difficult for me to live in someone else's house with four little kids and most of our belongings in a storage shed.  I longed for the day when we could buy our own home and I wouldn't have to worry about toys left in the pathway of elderly people.  Eventually we did move into a perfect little house just a few blocks away from the grandparents, and family life returned to normal…for a little while.  

We have moved into and out of three houses since those basement years, and I still don't think about them without remembering a good share of challenges.  But today, when I came across these pictures, I was suddenly filled with so much gratitude for my in-laws, especially my father-in-law.

Craig's dad is an infinitely patient man who adores his grandchildren.  I had forgotten until today about those days when McKay would climb up the stairs to read the paper with Grandpa in the mornings...  

…and how Grandpa always invited McKay to help him fix things.

By far, McKay's favorite place to be was outside.  As soon as the snow melted, Craig's dad was out maintaining his beautiful yard.  And McKay was right there with him.  Every tool Grandpa used, McKay had a matching one.  Every job that needed to be done, McKay was the official helper.  If Grandpa was wearing his work hat, McKay would wear his.  Grandpa rarely made a move in those days without his small shadow right behind him.

And even though there were jobs to be done, and Grandpa was very busy, he always made time to not only include McKay in the work, but also to teach him and talk to him.  They stopped to look at birds and worms.  They talked about the kinds of flowers and trees they were caring for.  They carefully cleaned and put away all the tools they used.  And then they would sit on the deck and have a little lemonade after they were finished and admire all their hard work.  And always, Grandpa would rave about how much help McKay had been to him.   McKay learned from his Grandpa the joy of being outside, the pride that comes from a job that's done well, and the great talent of figuring things out.  At ten years old, McKay is a meticulous sorter and organizer.  He can take apart anything AND put it back together.  And he is eager to learn everything he possibly can.  I'm sure that is, in large part, due to those early years with a Grandpa who was a wonderful example.   

Even though those two and a half years were long for me, they were such a huge blessing.  Having grandparents around definitely eased the burden of keeping four children entertained.  They were our on call babysitters when we needed to escape, and our live-in advisors when we had late night questions about Craig's business and our plans for life.   Our kids were able to forge strong, lasting bonds with their grandparents in those two and a half years that would have taken them much longer had we lived in our own home.

So...ten years later, from a vastly different perspective, I am grateful for the places we've been, the roads we've traveled, the storms we've weathered, and especially for my kind and gracious in-laws for making so much of that possible.  Our lives have truly been blessed because of them.  

Homecoming

Craig and Savannah came home last night from their whirlwind Utah trip.  I can't tell you how excited I was to have them back.  It's one thing for Craig to leave on regular business trips, but it's another thing entirely for him to take one of the kids with him on a non-business trip...that lasts for almost a whole week.  (...have I mentioned that we will not be attending any future family gatherings separately?)  I am SO happy that all of my little chickens are back home.  We spent the evening looking at all the pictures from the trip, and filling each other in on all the events of the past week.  Craig and Savannah talked about how big all the cousins have gotten and how beautiful Maddie's wedding was.  We snuggled in front of the TV and watched our new favorite show Whodunnit.  Then the kids played several rounds of Clue until Savannah was finally satisfied with a win.  At 11:30p, we forced them all to go to bed.  And let me tell you...my little heart was overflowing to have a complete family around the table saying family prayer.  

Savannah had quite a lengthy list of things she hoped to do on this Utah trip.  Typically, when we travel there in a pack, we spend most of our time in a very small vicinity, so there isn't a lot of touring taking place.  Since they had more free time, and fewer siblings to accommodate, Savannah took full advantage of Craig's undivided attention, and led him to all of her dream Utah destinations.  

One of the things Savannah most wanted to do was to take a picture in front of every Temple in Utah (she was a little disappointed to find out that a handful of them were way out of the Salt Lake City radius.)

Logan

Brigham City

Bountiful

Mt. Timpanogas

Oquirrh Mountain

Draper

Provo City Center (under construction)

Provo

This one is my favorite in front of the SLC Temple doors. 

Understanding the eternal nature of the Temple will draw you to your family; understanding the eternal nature of the family will draw you to the Temple."  - Gary E. Stevenson, April 2009 General Conference

"As we touch the Temple, the Temple will touch us." - President Thomas S. Monson (Jordan River Temple dedication)

I am so grateful for a daughter who longs to be in holy places and who delights in the chance to hop out of the car and take a picture in front of all the Temples in Utah.  I am grateful that she has a vision for her future and the strong desire to achieve her goals.  And I am so grateful for a husband who indulges his daughters.  

The Best Day Ever

Isn't it funny how one person's not-so-great day is another person's Best. Day. Ever??

I drove Craig and Savannah to the airport today to go to his niece's wedding on Thursday.  A few months ago when we were being practical and dividing up our time and vacation budget, it seemed like a great idea to let them go to Utah without the rest of us.  

Today, not so much.  

But...Savannah is thrilled about the trip.  She was so excited to pack her entire bathroom into her ridiculously huge make up case.  She was excited to fly on a plane.  And she is SO excited to be a bridesmaid in her cousin's wedding.  

I dropped them off at the airport and after excessive hugging let them go inside.

Two minutes later I got this text...

She told Craig that this was officially the Best. Day. Ever...and she hadn't even left Dallas.  

I'm so happy that Savannah and Craig are going on a little adventure together.  They almost never do that.  I'm grateful for frequent flyer miles.  And I'm grateful that Mack Brown made Savannah's day.  

I will try to pull myself together tonight and not miss them, not long for my Utah family, not wish that we hadn't been so dang practical in May, and just wait patiently for the report about their trip.  

Wish me luck... 

Throwback Thursday

I went with another random selection today from the iCloud for tbt.  My mouse scrolled and scrolled and happened to stop at September 2009.

One day, in the middle of the fall, the Scout Master and his brother decided to take all the cousins (minus Flowering Buttercup) to Antelope Island.  Those two are impulsive and adventurous like that.  They can cook up a snow cave expedition or a hike for the kids or a fishing trip in a matter of minutes.  They're pretty fun dads.  I packed a picnic lunch and loaded five kids into the van, and off they went for a day long adventure.  They spent the entire afternoon hiking, exploring, wading in the warm water, and bonding.

yikes!  is that my baby up on that giant rock????

Do you know what I thought about when I looked at these pictures?  I could not believe how much these cousins have changed in 4 years!  But, as grown up as they've gotten and as smart as they're becoming, they still LOVE being together.  It doesn't happen as much as we would like, but when it does, it's bliss for everyone.  These guys are more than cousins...they're FRIENDS.  I love that our 7 years in Utah seared in all of us that eternal bond.  I love these kids so much.  

 And I SUPER LOVE their adventurous dads!