January Mornings

I just love these crispy, cool mid winter mornings.  The leaves haven't quite come back on any of the trees yet, so you can see so much more of that brilliant blue sky.  I love to watch all the morning activity outside my window once all the school commotion dies down.   As soon as the kids and the busses disappear, the squirrels start to dash around and the birds begin their socializing.  Everything seems anxious to be in motion and get started with the day.   

I love the weather in Dallas.  There are days that are frigid and days that are unbearably hot, but fortunately none of them lasts very long.  The constant weather variety gives us all something to appreciate, to talk about, and to look forward to.  I'm grateful for an entire week of sunny, clear skies and temperatures in the 50s and 60s.  

I might even wander outside later and make a portable nest outside in the sun.  

Life Savers

I had one of those restless, nightmare riddled, mostly sleepless nights last night.  I intended to get right up this morning and make breakfast and lunches for the kids, but instead I kept hitting snooze until 5:45 and then only got up to make sure my two Seminary kids got out the door.  They did.  And I fell back into my bed for another hour and then only woke up to unlock the door for them at 6:45.  I'm pretty sure they all had breakfast.  I intended to get dressed after they left for school.  I intended to put on some lipgloss and look presentable.  I even made a little grocery list and intended to sneak a quick trip to the grocery store this afternoon.  

But at 11:00 when my den leader companion came over to plan the next few months of Webelos activities, she was greeted by a tired, pitiful, jammie-clad friend.  We planned for TWO hours and I thought I might fall asleep right in the middle of the Sportsman requirements.  

And then there was a sweet email from a friend reminding me that I would "feel better before I am better" and offering to substitute for me in Cub Scouts tomorrow afternoon.  My first thought was to politely say, "No, thank you," but then I thought about the instant relief that I felt when I considered not having Cub Scouts tomorrow.  (And it's also one less day that I have to wear that hideous uniform.)  So instead of graciously turning her down, I graciously accepted her offer.  She will be helping to monitor the Basketball Belt Loop and the Marble Belt Loop tomorrow.  

Later this afternoon another thoughtful friend texted and declared that she would be saving me a trip and picking up Megan from her UIL Orchestra practice.  I didn't even hesitate on that one.  Holy cow, it's only 5:00 and I'm exhausted.  I'm ready to crawl right back into my bed and try again on the whole sleeping thing.  

I'm unbelievably overwhelmed today (probably because I'm tired) and so grateful for the thoughtful friends who threw me a life line today when I would not have asked for one.  

Isn't it crazy that we do that?  Why don't we just pick up the phone and ask for help?  I know that if either one of those women called me and said, "I just can't manage it tonight, could you please substitute for my calling or bring me dinner or run to get me a diet DP,"  I would not even think before I said yes and grabbed my car keys.  Without hesitation.  So why is it so difficult to ask them to do any of those things for me?  I don't know.  But apparently I have a few more weeks to learn to graciously accept help from those Life Savers in my life.  I'm so glad they're persistent.  And I'm so glad to have a few extra resting hours in my week.  

Sunday

Back to church…finally.  Three weeks feels like an eternity to be at home.  But being back in that beautiful building and being welcomed by everyone I had missed was such a great feeling.  There have been times when I would have happily stayed home from church in the past.  In fact, I'm sure I've longed to sit on the couch on more than one Sunday.  But these last three weeks, I've found it very difficult to stay home while my whole family goes to church without me.  

Today, Emma gave a talk about preparing for the Second Coming…holy cow!  What a huge topic for a 13 year old.  She was SO nervous and then just as we were walking from the parking lot to the building, her little shoe broke…ugh…poor thing.  She was nervous, frustrated, and now shoeless while she sat up on the stand waiting to give her talk.  But she did a fantastic job.  Somehow my children have been blessed with an amazing ability to express themselves and find relevant, personal experiences that illustrate whatever topic they've been asked to speak on.  It was so sweet to watch her up there, nervous and a little weepy, but still very confident.  She got so many compliments.  I was so proud of her.  

During the second hour, Craig and I taught our new-ish Sunday School class.  We teach the 16-17 year olds, but until the 18 year olds graduate and go off to college or missions, they'll stay in our class, too.  So along with the 5 additional Sophomores that we've acquired this year, we also have our original 15 Juniors and Seniors…phew!  It's a good thing we have a huge room because 20 kids is A LOT!  I absolutely LOVE them, though.  Craig mostly taught and I mostly filled in the spaces with personal stories, but I can't tell you how happy I was to be back in that classroom surrounded by all those amazing kids.  They have such great insight and they totally inspire me to think harder, and do better, and learn more.  

In Relief Society, we had our first lesson from the new Joseph Fielding Smith manual.  He was an amazing man.  I so enjoyed hearing the history of his life and the graceful, faithful way he endured the many challenges he faced.  The bulk of the lesson was about understanding the divine characteristics of Heavenly Father.   Another weighty topic…but…right in the middle of the lesson, the teacher played this video excerpt of a Conference talk from 2011:

link

Here's what was said…

"Please understand that what you see and experience now is not what forever will be.  You will not feel loneliness, sorrow, pain, or discouragement forever.  We have the faithful promise of God that He will neither forget nor forsake those who incline their hearts to Him.  Have hope and faith in that promise.  Learn to love your Heavenly Father and become His disciple in word and in deed.

Be assured that if you but hold on, believe in Him, and remain faithful in keeping the commandments, one day you will experience for yourself the promises revealed to the Apostle Paul: "Eye hath not seen, not ear heard, neither have entered into the hearts of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him." (1 Corinthians 2:9)

Brothers and sisters, the most powerful Being in the universe is the Father of your spirit.  He knows you.  He loves you with a perfect love.  

God sees you not only as a mortal being on a small planet who lives for a brief season - He sees you as His child.  He sees you as the being you are capable and designed to become.  He wants you to know that you matter to Him."  

Here's what I heard…

There's amazing stuff coming.  My life is abundant and wonderful right now, and I am aware of that everyday, but there are things that I am impatient for…grandchildren, missions, weddings, future callings, retirement, etc.  I have a hard time being patient and waiting for the things that I know are coming in the future.  But Heavenly Father knows me.  He wants me to learn patience, to have faith in Him, and to be good so that all of those things that I have seen glimpses of, I will actually be prepared for and worthy to receive.  

I am so grateful, not only to have been able to go to church today, but also to have been reminded once again that Heavenly Father has everything under control.  I'm grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who has a uniquely divine plan for each of us.  

Be Good. Be Patient. Don't Forget.

High Five for Friday

It's been forever since I've written a H54F post.  But since it's a New Year, and I've missed these recap posts, here is the first H54F of 2014!

1.  Out of the Nest

Look!  My nest has turned back into a couch.  Blankets are folded.  Decorative pillows have replaced those sorry looking things I dragged out from the bedroom.  Remotes are put away.   Rugs have been vacuumed (not by me, though, don't worry.)  And life is gradually returning to normal around here.  

2.  New Hair

There really is no better reason to get out of the house than a visit to the salon.  New cut and color…hooray!  

3.  Drives

I absolutely LOVE to drive aimlessly around town all by myself listening to music.  I think I've missed that the most while I've been cooped up at home.  Sneaking out on Tuesday was the most fun I've had this week.  Next week I think I'll take the camera with me.  

4.  Best Lip Gloss Ever

Bath and Body Works post-Christmas sale.  75% off.  Perfect shade of plum and sparkly.

5.  Passports

Hooray!  As of today, 6 passport applications have been submitted, which means that in 6 weeks, we will be holding actual passports in our hands!  (more on why we need those things later…) It's no small feat to gather all the necessary stuff to get 6 people, including three minors, registered for passports.  Thankfully, we won't have to do this again for at least 5 more years.  

Bedtime

I follow a very sweet, very inspiring blog.  What I love most about it is that she posts about the simplest things and says things in such a simple, concise way, but still manages to make a very clear, profound point.  I love her perspective.  I love the simplicity of her blog and the purposefully uncluttered life she writes about.  I wish I could say what I mean without all those unnecessary words, but I can't, so you're stuck with these fluffy posts.  :)

Last week, she was talking about resolutions for the New Year and one of the things she wanted to improve on was "not rushing bedtime."  Isn't it funny how some things just jump out at you?  Those words might as well have been highlighted and underlined on that blog because they were the only ones I saw.  I can't even remember what the rest of her goals were.  

I've been thinking about our bedtime routine for the past couple of days since I read that post.  Bedtime is not when I'm at my best.  After being awake since 5:00am, I'm rarely fresh and alert at 9:00pm.  But 90% of the time, AFTER family prayer, and AFTER all the hugs, is exactly when the kids want to talk and snuggle and connect with us and share their days.  (sigh…why do they not want to talk at 3:30 in the afternoon?  or even at 7:00 after dinner?)

I have been thinking this week, that there have been too many times when the bedtime routine stays in tact, but the conversation afterward is definitely rushed.  So, even though what I'd really like to do at night is get in my jammies and curl up on the couch to watch some DVR thing, I've tried this week to make more of an effort to be available for those bedtime conversations.  And there have been some good ones!  

Because ultimately, the thing that always rings in my ears, is that the way things look today is not necessarily what it will look like in the future.  There are fewer years of bedtime conversations left than have already passed.  These are the years when they want to talk about things like relationships, goals and aspirations, college, church, teachers, and friends and I definitely don't want to miss those.  This week has made me want to embrace those bedtime conversations and look forward to them instead of rushing through them to get to some unimportant thing.  

I'm grateful that these teenagers (and 10 year olds) want to talk to us.  I'm so grateful for their wisdom and insight.  I'm sure those nightly conversations teach me so much more than I could ever teach them.  

Instagram

There are a million reasons that I love Instagram, but this post isn't actually about all of those.  It's really more about Family History.  But I found this inspiration on IG, so that's where the blog post title came from.  

Last week, I discovered this awesome IG account.  They've divided up the Book of Mormon into daily chunks so that readers can finish the whole thing in a year.  Awesome challenge.  Awesome way to start the year.  Awesome inspiration.  

Yesterday's reading assignment was 1 Ne 5:7 - 6:6 and there was a great comment about family history…

Here's what the commenter said (her parents are currently serving as Temple Pres and Matron of the Las Vegas Temple and received this instruction during their training with the Quorum of the 12):

"The best way to assure our kids stay on the straight and narrow is twofold.
1.  Talk to them about EVERYTHING.  ALL THE TIME.  AS OFTEN AS THEY WANT TO TALK.
2.  Teach them about their family history.  Where do they come from?  What sacrifices were made to get them where they are today?  Why are they an important link in the family chain? What will their righteousness (or unrighteousness) mean to the links in the chain?  Don't just make family history about finding names.  Make it about bringing their history to life, and letting them see how important they are in holding together the links of the past and the future."  

She said that family history has taken on a new level of importance for their family.  They get together for FHE once a month with her whole side of the family and Grandma and Grandpa share a personal history moment where they tell stories from their childhood and the grandchildren have a chance to connect with their grandparents in a totally different way. 

I love that idea!  

Unfortunately my parents are no longer here to connect with my kids, but I certainly have a wealth of their childhood stories that I heard while I was growing up.  I don't know that my kids have heard very many of them.  Craig's parents have done a lot of family history work and we have access to all of the personal histories from a couple of generations of grandparents, including Moroni Heiner, Craig's great-great-great grandfather on his mom's side.  So there are plenty of stories to share with our kids to help them know where they come from.

It's really important for me to not just stress the pioneer heritage of Craig's amazing family, but also to point out the ways that my family blazed trails and laid the little bricks along this path so that we could be exactly where we are right now.  They may not have had religious freedom in mind when they came over on boats from Puerto Rico to Hawaii, and they may not have been thinking about getting to the Temple when they traveled across the country from Pennsylvania to California.  But they were thinking about providing opportunities for their children and grandchildren, which is exactly what they did for us.

I am immensely grateful for all of the people who came before me, the ones I knew and the ones I did not have the chance to meet, who worked and made sacrifices so that I could have a college education and find the church and have this amazing family.  And I'm grateful for Craig's pioneer heritage who crossed plains, served missions and settled in the mountains and valleys of Utah so that a future Church could thrive and grow.  

I am so excited for a shift in our upcoming Family Nights and for a new emphasis on all of those amazing people from past generations.  

Today

OK I'm officially sick to death of sitting around.  My nest has been awesome, but it's been three whole weeks, and it's time to be done with it.  

Today…

I'm going to put away the rest of the Christmas decorations.  

I'm going to get dressed and curl my hair.  

I'm going to make dinner.  

I'm going to drink a Diet DP.

And I'm going to sneak out for a drive…to no place in particular…and just listen to music.  

Because January 7 is always a good day to just do something, don't you think?

Packing Up Christmas

Now that my house officially looks like an after Christmas sale, I thought I'd post pictures of what it looked like when it was beautiful…

I love the way the house looks from the street when it's all lit up with Christmas lights.  McKay kept his blinds open every night in December so he could fall asleep with all the lights from outside filling his room.  

One of my favorite things about Christmas is these books.  When the kids were little, I would wrap them all right after Christmas and put this basket under the tree, and they would unwrap a different one and read it every night until Christmas.  Now we just read them all on Christmas Eve.  I love that this basket is filled with great stories and that my kids were as excited to read them this year as they were when they were toddlers.  

I love our Christmas tree.  My favorite thing is to have the dining room lit up every night with the lights from that tree.  

I love the way the presents gradually fill up the space underneath the tree.  My mom made that beautiful tree skirt.  

Every ornament on this tree means something to our family.  We always pick up a Christmas ornament from the vacations we go on.  This one was from our trip to Florida this year.  

I got this one last December when Craig and I were in Scottsdale.  

I have every ornament my kids have ever made…sometimes multiples because they each made the same one.    

There is a small collection of T ornaments that I've found over the years.  

And baby ornaments for each of the kids…except Megan.  I'll have to write a blog post about that next year when she finally has her own baby ornament on the tree.

There are a handful of ornaments made by my grandmother and my great aunt that I love to be able to put on my tree.  This one was actually made by my dad.  He was secretly crafty.  He got a kit one year thinking that we could make these together and he turned out to be so much better at all the tedious pinning of sequins on Mrs. Claus' little dress.  Every time I look at this ornament, I think about my dad's huge hands meticulously pinning on every one of those little beads and sequins.  Amazing man...

I always mourn those days in January when the Christmas baking comes to an end, and the decorations have to be put away.  The house seems to go from beautifully filled with color to cold and stark.  All of those corners where poinsettias and lights have been are now just empty.  I always think at this time of year that I need to find some kind of interim decorations so that it's not such a sad transition.      

I like the chance to clean those corners, though.  And the opportunity for organization that comes with a new year.  I might love this transition more if I had the energy to do it all at once like I usually do.  But gradual is good, too.  It's good to have the kids help with all the stuff that usually appears and disappears while they're all at school.  And it's given me a chance to appreciate what a blessing it is to have 100% energy.  In my head, I'm thinking that I never want to waste a minute of energy again, but…I'm sure an occasional day on the couch will slip in there.  

I'm grateful for yet another amazing Christmas season, for traditions that the kids have come to look forward to and love.  I'm grateful that this year necessity made it possible for them to learn to make some of those family recipes that I always worry will be lost forever when they leave.  I'm grateful to have been surrounded by family and friends who we love.  And as always, I'm grateful for the abundance that comes from the knowledge of the Savior's love for each one of us.  What a great year 2013 has been.  

Quiet Sundays

I had a post op doctor's appt on Thursday and I felt great!  The doctor said I looked "very functional" which, I'm sure is the highest compliment I could've gotten from this particular doctor.  (One more visit and I never have to see her again…hooray!)  My appointment was quicker than I expected and since I had insisted on driving myself (I've been pain med free since Wednesday) I thought I'd hang onto to my freedom for a little while longer.  I stopped for a Diet DP at Sonic, filled up the Jeep with gas, drove aimlessly through Allen listening to all the songs I've missed for two whole weeks, and then picked up Megan to take her shopping.  We had such a great day.  I love sneaking in one on one time with my daughters and Megan is delightful right now.  I love her introspective conversations, her discovery of boys, and her secret desire to save every living thing on the planet.  

We have an open door policy at our house with any of our kids' friends.  And this week, a few of them have camped out at our house.  I don't know what the draw is, but it warms my heart that they feel safe here, that they stay for days, and that they feel completely comfortable talking to us about whatever is on their minds.  On Friday, a friend needed a little help with her kids and since I had a house full of babysitters, I offered to have them come for the day.  My girls (including the visiting teenagers) were a huge help, but the truth is, when there are people in my house, of any age, I feel guilty sitting down.  What is it that compels me to have to tidy, entertain, and make food when people are here?  Whatever it is, it's innate and I can't turn it off.  

My activities on Thursday and then my compulsion on Friday led to a really regrettable Friday night.  I had been planning to go on the Youth Temple trip that night, but by 4:00, I was already running on borrowed spoons.  There was no way I could go to the Temple.  Instead, I spent the evening camped out in my familiar nest in the living room barely able to walk to the kitchen.  The girls came home at 10:00 and wanted to talk, and  since Craig had taken the three younger kids camping, we all decided to all pile in my bed for the night.  I would have loved that on any other night, but a sleepover was really the last thing I needed on Friday. 

Saturday I felt awful.  And today isn't much better.  

I can't get this cloudy feeling out of my head.

I'm constantly cold.  

And everything hurts.  

This is week 3 of missing church and the first week with a new Sunday School class, and I'm stuck here in my nest…again.  I decided to make a really easy dinner because they'll all be hungry when they get home, but that's about all the energy I have.  

It's 28 degrees and blustery outside.  I'm pretty sure I can feel the wind coming right through the windows, and every ten minutes or so I try turning up the heat, but it doesn't seem to help.  

So, on yet another quiet Sunday of recovering, I'm reading my scriptures, eating my weight in Sonic ice, and watching season three of Downton Abbey so I'm prepared for the season four premiere tonight.  Lots of quality time in my nest.  

Today, even though I would like to be at church with my family, even though none of Christmas has been put away, and even though I stink at recovering, there's still so much to be grateful for.  I'm grateful for quiet Sundays.  I'm grateful that Craig moved the Mac downstairs for me.  I'm grateful for crockpot dinners that cook while I sit.  I'm grateful for fuzzy socks.  I'm grateful that even though everyone else has to go somewhere tomorrow morning, I do not.  I'm grateful that I can take all of next week and the next and the next to keep recovering if I need to (hopefully I won't!)  And I'm grateful for a head that is clear enough to hear that little voice telling me to be still.  

One Word 2014

Last year my One Word for 2013 was LAUNCH.  I decided last January that I needed to just DO all that stuff that I had been thinking about DOING.  I didn't LAUNCH everything on that initial list in my head, but I for sure LAUNCHed a lot of things.  Just having a Word of the Year makes you more aware of the things that happen in a day.  I saw that word everywhere, and when I did, I immediately thought, "What am I supposed to be LAUNCHing right now and what's keeping me from doing it?"  

2013 was the year I LAUNCHed into Zumba, Instagram, bloggy friends, a different level of prayer and personal scripture study, DMCO, directing a Stake Youth Choir, singing all the time, and connecting with people on a daily basis.  LAUNCHing for me didn't necessarily mean trying to be amazing or trying to do MORE.  It meant LAUNCHing things that mattered, that made a difference in my confidence level and my testimony.  It meant listening more carefully to those little whispers of inspiration throughout the day and acting on them.  I loved having that word guide and direct and motivate me last year.  

So this year, I had to think really hard about what I wanted my new One Word to be.  How do I want to improve this year?  How do I want this year to be different from last year?  How can I continue to LAUNCH and also build upon that word to make 2014 even more fulfilling and successful?

After much contemplation here's my word:

LIGHT.  I'm so excited about this word.  It requires something of me.  I can't be a LIGHT if I'm sitting at home in jammies.  I can't LIGHT anything if I don't use my talents.  This word makes me want to get out of bed in the morning.  It makes me want to put on lip gloss and do my hair.  It makes me want to say yes when people ask me to sing or play the piano.  It makes me want to do my Visiting Teaching, and magnify my callings, and be a better mom.  

That's what choosing a One Word of the Year is all about.  You live with it.  You let it speak to you.  You follow where it leads.  It's a spark to ignite opportunities around you.  

"Our opportunities to shine are limitless.  They surround us each day, in whatever circumstances we find ourselves. Of the 50 definitions that the dictionary offers on light, my favorite definition is "something that illuminates.  Ours is the responsibility to keep our lights bright for others to see and follow."   

- Thomas S. Monson Become A Light for All to See 

I'm grateful for a new year, for change, for opportunities to improve.  I'm grateful for this awesome word of the year.  And I can't wait to see where this one leads.  

Have an amazing 2014!