Thank you so much to my dear friends who read my last post and found some kind, uplifting thing to comment despite it's dreary content. Thank you to all the people who emailed or texted to see if I felt any better. Thank you to the people who reminded me that perfect is not only unattainable, it's also really boring. And thank you so much to the people who unknowingly listened to the Spirit today and were inspired to be the tiny little whispers of encouragement that I needed.
I just want to assure all of you that I'm fine. I don't really hate Mother's Day. And I probably will go to church next year because I just really like church.
I considered taking down that Mother's Day post, but I'm not going to because it's genuine. This blog is the way I record my days. Most days, I'm overwhelmingly grateful for the life I've been given and the people and gifts I've been blessed with...and some days I forget. Every now and then the clouds cover over the sunshine and my perspective is blurred. Someday in the future, when my kids have an interest in this blog and in my thoughts from my 40s, they should probably read both the 95% positive as well as the 5% not so positive. Because even though I have bad days, and even though some of them are so bad that I lose myself and hide in bathrooms and then write about it, I want my kids to be able to turn the page and read the next post where the clouds drift away and the sun comes out. Because it always does.
I'm back to my normal state of mind, and sunnier posts will follow. Thanks for sticking with me through a couple of clouds. :)