Transformation Tuesday

It's Tuesday morning, which means it's #transformationtuesday on Instagram, so I've spent a little while going through old pictures searching for evidence of transformations in each of my kids.  It is shocking how much they have changed even in the short three years since we've been in Texas.  

While I poured over pictures, I had the TV on in the background and a baby commercial came on.  I was only half listening, but I turned around to see a sweet little baby being snuggled and kissed by his mom.  And my heart melted.

For a few moments I longed to have those baby days back again.  I wished for the way McKay's hair smelled after a bath.  And the way Savannah's little hands would move when she was sound asleep.  And the way Megan would press her little cheeks up against mine when she was sad.  And the way Emma would crawl into bed with me first thing in the morning and suck her thumb and hold her blankie while she watched Dora.  

I thought for a second about all the things I didn't do.  I wasn't a relaxed mom.  I didn't sit for hours with them and just be still.  I didn't read a million books over and over again.  I didn't linger in their rooms at night to talk.  I worried more about messy rooms and fingerprints than I should have.  I could have listened more.  And praised more.  And hugged more.

In those early years, life was overwhelming and my survival necessitated predictable days.  I desperately needed to know exactly when we were having meals, how many hours I would need to be alert and attentive between the scheduled quiet times, and what time Craig was coming home from work.  I was efficient and organized.  I ran a tight ship with an even tighter schedule.  My babies took naps everyday, didn't climb out of their cribs, and stopped drinking from bottles on their first birthdays.  My toddlers always held onto the cart in the grocery store.  They were always redirected back to their rooms when they would wake in the night.  And they never threw their food.  Things were gated, childproofed, put on high shelves, and locked.  They asked permission for everything from snacks to TV time.  Playdates were scheduled.  Potential spills and accidents were painstakingly prevented.  And messes were cleaned up immediately.  Back then, I guided and directed more than I hugged and kissed.  

Later this morning, I texted my wise and wonderful niece, Laura and asked her if she ever wishes to go back to the baby years and have a second chance to do it all over again, only better.  

She shocked me when she said no.

She said, "One thing I'm learning is that I will always second guess the decisions I make.  But I'm doing what I believe to be best for them.  And some things will turn out great and others not so much.  But our best is all we can do."

She also said, "If you don't think you were huggy enough then, be huggier NOW.  They're not gone yet and you're not done yet.  Use the learning of looking back to improve, not to regret."

See what I mean...wise and wonderful, huh?

She's totally right.  I did what I was capable of then, and at the time it was my best.  And whether because of that or despite it, my children have safely and mostly happily transformed into wise and wonderful little people who I am immensely proud of.  I realized in the minutes following that baby commercial and all that longing, that I would only want to be back in those baby days for a few hours before I longed to be back here.  

Because here is good.  

There is plenty of hugging happening these days.  Lots of listening.  And road trips.  And sisterly friendships being made.  And we can do all of that because I no longer have to worry about anyone ingesting Windex, falling down the stairs, or spilling grape juice on my mother-in-law's carpet.  

Yep, here is really good.  

General Conference 2013

I am so grateful this weekend for the miracle of technology.  I say this all the time, I know, but it is SO amazing to me that within my lifetime, we as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have gone from meeting in a church building to watch Conference broadcasts via satellite transmission, to streaming both the live audio as well as the video right on our iPhones.  

As the girls and I traveled home from Austin to Dallas yesterday, we were able to find General Conference on lds.org and listen to it all the way home.  We paused the speakers when we had to stop for breaks, and then we would start them right where we left them when we got back in the car.  I could not help but marvel at the amazing and incomprehensible blessing technology is in our lives.  

There was so much to love about this Conference.  I loved Elder Holland's talk that so compassionately addressed mental health and depression issues that all of us have or will be affected by either directly or indirectly at some point in our lives.  

"Whatever your struggle, mental or emotional, or physical or otherwise.  Trust in God.  Hold on in His love.  Know that one day the dawn will break brightly and all shadows of mortality will flee.  Though we may feel we are like a broken vessel, we must remember that vessel is in the hands of the Divine Potter."  

"I bear witness of that day when loved ones whom we knew to have disabilities in mortality will stand before us glorious and grand, breathtakingly perfect in body and mind.  What a thrilling moment that will be.  I do not know if we will be happier for ourselves that we have witnessed such a miracle or happier for them that they are fully perfect and finally free at last.  Until that hour, when Christ's consummate gift is evident to us all, may we live by faith, hold fast to hope, and show compassion one for another."

I loved Elder Hales talk on Saturday morning teaching us how to actively listen and be attentive to the lessons and instruction that comes through the Holy Ghost.  
"In Conferences we can receive the word of the Lord meant just for us.  The Holy Ghost carries the word of the Lord unto our hearts in terms we can understand. When I take notes at Conference, I do not always write down exactly what the speaker is saying.  I note the personalized direction the spirit is giving me.  What is said is not as important as what I hear and what I feel.  That is why we make an effort to experience Conference in a setting where the still small voice of the Spirit can be clearly heard, felt and experienced."

President Monson's talk this morning touched my heart.  His usual light hearted stories of service and love were replaced with a lovely tribute to his sweet wife who passed away in May of this year.  I love this man, and I am so grateful for the opportunity to hear his voice and see his sweet smile every April and October.

And of course, I always love President Eyring.  Always.

But my all time favorite talk of this Conference was Elder D. Todd Christofferson who spoke about the moral force and contribution of women's roles.  In his talk he quoted a previous talk by Margaret Nadauld.  "The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender.  There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind.  There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined.  We have enough women of fame and fortune.  We need more women of faith.  We have enough greed; we need more goodness.  We have enough of vanity; we need more virtue.  We have enough popularity; we need more purity."  

What a lovely reminder that even though we sometimes strive for the things of the world, the very best things to strive for are tender moments, happy children, and love abounding at home.

I loved every part of this Conference weekend and I am so very grateful to have the opportunity to listen and be inspired to be a little more Christlike than I was before.  I look forward to listening more closely to the talks and reading the words over again in the coming days and weeks, but to be immersed in them for an entire weekend is complete bliss.  
     

Weekend Update

The girls and I had an awesome weekend road trip to Round Top and Austin.  We piled into our rental car at 9:00am and set off for a great adventure.  

First stop...Jamba Juice!

Armed with a little juicy sustenance, we were on the road...

This trip was quite a bit longer than we expected, and we had a teeny little bit of rental car trouble.  In the 5 hours that we were on the road, we filled up a slowly leaking back tire a handful of times.  Savannah and I became pretty well acquainted with this little machine...

When we finally arrived in Austin at 8:00pm on Friday night, we took a quick detour to the airport and traded out our Chevy Malibu for a Chevy Impala with all four tires adequately filled with air.  Huge relief...

Just before we got to Round Top, we stopped in Brenham, TX at the Blue Bell Ice Cream Factory.  What a beautiful place that was!  We didn't go through the tour, but we did stop into the little ice cream shop and each of us grabbed a scoop of our favorite flavor.  Awesome treat after a long drive.

And look at all these flavors we had to choose from!...impossible decision.  

 Finally, late in the afternoon, we rolled into Round Top and got to stop and wander around all the amazing treasures there.  We could have spent days in this place and not seen everything...seriously.

About three hours later, when the sun started to set and all the little tents started to close, we reluctantly left and headed toward Austin to find our hotel (and trade out our pitiful vehicle.)  I so wish we had gotten to Round Top earlier and been able to explore more, but the girls and I loved it so much that we might just have to make this an annual event!

On Saturday morning, we drove to the University of Texas campus and wandered around.  I have wanted to stop and explore here the last few times we've driven through on our way to or from San Antonio, but we've always been so short on time that only a quick driving tour was possible.  This time, I made sure that it was our first stop so we could get out and walk around.   

Our first stop was the Fine Arts building so I could show the girls where I spent half my life during college.  We wandered around the lobby and the practice rooms and the gorgeous concert hall and I was flooded with memories of a million choir concerts and music classes.  There happened to be a mini Strings Camp going on this weekend, and when we wandered into the lobby, some cute little Strings Boosters were selling last year's t-shirts for $1.  Megan had to have one of those!!  

From the Fine Arts building, we drove to the football stadium, the second most memorable place of my four years at that school.  

And then the Tower.  Gorgeous.  Regal.  Right in the center of campus.  And right next to all of my Psychology, Architecture and Latin classes that I took before I decided on an Elementary Ed major.  I was so flaky, but I learned so much about so many things.  The amount of useless knowledge I still have floating in my head is pretty awesome.  :)

 

We ended our little tour at my dormitory!  Oh, I can't tell you how strange and wonderful it was to walk back into that quad and into that building with my three daughters in tow.  We saw the piano in the lobby that I spent hours playing during my (very few) free hours.  We saw the rows of mail boxes that held excitement, anxiety and heartbreak, depending on who did or did not write to me.  We saw the dining hall where I ate nearly every meal for two whole years.  And we saw college girls who are closer to my daughters' generation than mine, but who look remarkably like I remember myself looking and how I mostly still feel.  

I loved taking my girls back with me to my pre-mom/pre-wife years.  It's so hard for them to imagine that I ever even had any of those.  I love that they are just as excited to see anything UT-related, and that their blood now bleeds as orange as mine!

After a little pizza lunch, we started the trek back home.  It was a great weekend.  We talked and ate and laughed and we all like each other a little bit more because we spent two whole days together doing something out of the ordinary.  

Wanna see what the boys did?

Craig bought McKay a hiking backpack and they went on a two-mile hike around Cedar Bayou and camped in their new mini tent that Craig got last year for his birthday and has never had a chance to use.  He's doing this same hike with his scouts on the 18th, so he wanted to try it out with McKay first.  They had a great weekend, too, and are looking forward to their trip in two weeks.  

Hooray for safe, fun, adventurous weekends, and for bonding with family!   Hope you had a wonderful weekend, too.

Rain Gutter Regatta

This happened weeks ago, but I never got around to blogging about it.  

Every fall, the Cub Scouts have a Rain Gutter Regatta.  

Each Cub is given a boat kit in a little box and (with some help from his dad) puts it together into a beautiful unique sailing vessel.  Then the awesome Cub Scout leaders find actual rain gutters (hence, the name of the race) and set them up filled with water so the boys can race their cute little boat creations.  Each gutter is an individual lane for one boat that the boys power with "wind" (they also have the option of using a straw to help with that "wind.")  

McKay is a boy of very simple desires.  His only requirements for his boat were that it be painted burnt orange and that it have the #13 on it somewhere.  

After many, many heats and much intense wind powered racing, these two boats were the final winners.  

Once the treats came out, though, the dads and the boys forgot who won and just enjoyed hanging out together doing something totally different and totally fun on a beautiful Saturday in September. 

McKay and Craig had such a great time doing this.  The scouting program has so many benefits but the very best thing about it, I think, is the awesome opportunity it creates for bonding time between dads and sons.  I love Cub Scouts.

October Excitement

This is my absolute favorite month!  I'm so happy it's finally here.  I love the change of seasons.  I love the official beginning of the holiday months.  I love transitioning into long sleeves and boots.  I love all things apple and cinnamon flavored.

We have yet to see a leaf fall here in Dallas, but I'm holding out hope that it won't be too long before the weather cools a bit and the trees start to give in to winter. 

I've been trying to resist buying pumpkins until at least the 15th...but we'll see how that goes.  I've already talked Craig into fetching the Halloween bucket out of the attic, and as soon as I see those decorations...that will lead to pumpkin purchases, I'm sure.  

What is General Conference?

This weekend is General Conference, which I've already gushed over so much.  But I really, really love it.  The missionaries in our ward are coming over to watch it with us this year, so it should be even better than usual.  Great food, interesting conversation, and a spirit-filled home.  I can't wait.  

But...before we get to Conference weekend, the girls and I are going to take Friday off and go on a little adventure.  

Junk Gypsies

Have you seen this show??  Well, it's my latest obsession.  These adorable sisters live in Round Top, TX and create treasures out of flea market finds, and they have a show that occasionally appears on GAC.  They make me want to wear cowboy boots and drive a truck; they are ridiculously cool!

Well, it turns out that The Texas Antiques Week is in Round Top, TX.  There's a 6 mile stretch of little rural towns between HOU and Austin that hosts this giant flea market fiesta twice a year on the first weekend in October and the first weekend in April.  The girls and I decided it would be fun to take a road trip to see if we can find some junk gypsy treasures.  On Friday, we're taking the day off of school and renting a fun little car to drive from here to Austin via Round Top.  We'll do our treasure hunting all day, shop, eat, and drive some more, and then we'll stay in Austin overnight.  The girls have all been dying to take a walking tour of the UT campus, and I haven't wandered around much there since I was in college, so I'm all over that idea.  And while we're driving home, we'll listen to the Saturday sessions of Conference on the radio.   Perfect weekend, huh?  

Road trips, apple cider, Antiques Week, pumpkins, Halloween, falling leaves...how can you not be thrilled about October?