Last night, we invited the Grs to Skype into our FHE lesson. We wanted the kids to be able to ask their grandparents questions about their childhood experiences, early years of marriage and spiritual experiences directly and to be able to hear their answers. We are very fortunate to have grandparents who, through the miracle of technology, are accessible and willing to tell their stories and who can still recall with great clarity so many of the details of their early years.
We weren't entirely sure how the night would go, but after the initial question, a great interview took off with a life of its own and an hour later, grandchildren were connected more fully to grandparents, children were connected to parents, and a couple of missionaries gained a little insight for their future discussions. It was a successful night.
Savannah started by asking how the Grs met, where they were married, and what their courtship was like. It was hysterical to hear Grandpa tell his version of that story and then have Grandma come in and have to make a few minor corrections.
One of the kids asked about the kinds of chores the Grs had when they were children. I was shocked to learn that my mother-in-law never had to do any chores as a child and never learned to cook because her mother was a bit of a perfectionist and didn't want anyone else to do those things. She liked her home to look a certain way and she knew that she was the best person to get the job done. She preferred not to have an additional mess in her kitchen by inviting little hands to help her. So all these years later, I have to say, I looked at my mother-in-law in a slightly different light knowing that everything she learned about being a housewife, she learned on her own. Grandpa, on the other hand, was the oldest of five boys and with two working parents, and therefore was primarily responsible for all of the housework and cooking responsibilities after school. No wonder he can vacuum and sweep better than anyone I've ever met!
We also asked the Grs about how and when they gained a testimony of the church. Grandma was very candid in her response and told the kids that she didn't attend seminary regularly and that it wasn't until after she was married and pregnant with Uncle Bret that she had a desire to gain a testimony for herself. And, as with everything else in her life, she decided to do a thing, made a plan, and went forth and did it. Grandpa told us a story about how he gained a testimony while he was on his mission. The missionaries were especially touched by their stories and instantly bonded with the grandparents after that. :)
I can't tell you how happy I was that this night went as well as it did. Craig and I weren't sure what kinds of questions the kids would ask or how engaged they would be in the answers. But our hearts completely melted to see Emma and Megan frantically writing down their grandparents' answers, and all of the kids anxious to have the next turn to ask a question.
I am so grateful to the Grs for the lives they've lived and the wisdom they are able to share with all of us. And I'm so grateful to know a little more about each of them. They may have inspired us to do this regularly!
"Many people desire to know where they come from, but a sense of belonging is especially important for children and youth. A knowledge about their family history gives children of all ages a sense of their place in the world. It can also give young people something to live up to—a legacy to respect. Family history also provides an opportunity for children and teenagers to make a meaningful contribution to something bigger than themselves.
Encourage children to talk to their living relatives, especially the older ones. Hearing stories about what life was like in the past helps young people connect to the past. This connection brings generations together and establishes strong family bonds.
Tell stories about your life and the lives of your ancestors. Young people need more than facts and dates. They need the facts and dates packaged in interesting, meaningful, and memorable ways. The best way to create an interest in family history is by telling young people stories about real people. Fill your stories with interesting information, humorous details, and unusual facts that will capture a young imagination. Sharing family stories doesn’t have to be a big event; make it a common occurrence around the dinner table, in the car, or at bedtime." - familysearch.org
Our dear sweet missionaries had transfers today. We knew this was coming. We knew they would receive a call Saturday evening from the mission president telling them who was leaving and where they'd be going. So it's not like we weren't prepared. But, honestly, we (the entire ward) had been sort of mentally and emotionally preparing to lose Elder Christensen, not Elder Saenger. Elder Christensen has been in the Allen 1st Ward since August, so each time a transfer date comes up, we expect it to be him. But once again, he gets to stay…and we are all secretly breathing a sigh of relief about that because he's awesome.
We have had a lot of missionaries come through our home. Some of them make a huge impression and others just pass through. These two have left a lasting impression for sure. They are great young men individually, but they also made a great companionship. It's so amazing to see two 20ish boys come together not knowing a single thing about each other, and potentially not having a single thing in common, but still be able to form an effective and spiritual partnership. Elder Saenger and Elder Christensen made a really good team. I would have loved it if they had both gotten to stay. Their spiritual thoughts and their object lessons were a great opportunity for our kids to learn about the gospel and to feel the spirit in our home. They have also gotten so excited about sharing their faith with friends at school and people that they meet. Elder Christensen and Elder Saenger have been great examples of how amazing missionary work can be.
But…as I have to keep reminding myself and the teenagers around me…change is good. Change helps us learn and grow. This change will bring new opportunities for both of these missionaries and for the wards in which they serve. We're excited to meet Elder Christensen's new companion this week and we hope he likes us as much as his companion does.
I'm so grateful that these missionaries feel so comfortable here, that we live in an area where we can interact with them regularly and often, and that my kids have been able to see the influence great missionaries can be. We will miss Elder Saenger so much, but we know that he'll be a great missionary in the Little Elm area for the last four months of his mission. And we look forward to hearing from him after he gets back home.
There are a million reasons that I love Instagram, but this post isn't actually about all of those. It's really more about Family History. But I found this inspiration on IG, so that's where the blog post title came from.
Last week, I discovered this awesome IG account. They've divided up the Book of Mormon into daily chunks so that readers can finish the whole thing in a year. Awesome challenge. Awesome way to start the year. Awesome inspiration.
Yesterday's reading assignment was 1 Ne 5:7 - 6:6 and there was a great comment about family history…
Here's what the commenter said (her parents are currently serving as Temple Pres and Matron of the Las Vegas Temple and received this instruction during their training with the Quorum of the 12):
"The best way to assure our kids stay on the straight and narrow is twofold.
1. Talk to them about EVERYTHING. ALL THE TIME. AS OFTEN AS THEY WANT TO TALK.
2. Teach them about their family history. Where do they come from? What sacrifices were made to get them where they are today? Why are they an important link in the family chain? What will their righteousness (or unrighteousness) mean to the links in the chain? Don't just make family history about finding names. Make it about bringing their history to life, and letting them see how important they are in holding together the links of the past and the future."
She said that family history has taken on a new level of importance for their family. They get together for FHE once a month with her whole side of the family and Grandma and Grandpa share a personal history moment where they tell stories from their childhood and the grandchildren have a chance to connect with their grandparents in a totally different way.
I love that idea!
Unfortunately my parents are no longer here to connect with my kids, but I certainly have a wealth of their childhood stories that I heard while I was growing up. I don't know that my kids have heard very many of them. Craig's parents have done a lot of family history work and we have access to all of the personal histories from a couple of generations of grandparents, including Moroni Heiner, Craig's great-great-great grandfather on his mom's side. So there are plenty of stories to share with our kids to help them know where they come from.
It's really important for me to not just stress the pioneer heritage of Craig's amazing family, but also to point out the ways that my family blazed trails and laid the little bricks along this path so that we could be exactly where we are right now. They may not have had religious freedom in mind when they came over on boats from Puerto Rico to Hawaii, and they may not have been thinking about getting to the Temple when they traveled across the country from Pennsylvania to California. But they were thinking about providing opportunities for their children and grandchildren, which is exactly what they did for us.
I am immensely grateful for all of the people who came before me, the ones I knew and the ones I did not have the chance to meet, who worked and made sacrifices so that I could have a college education and find the church and have this amazing family. And I'm grateful for Craig's pioneer heritage who crossed plains, served missions and settled in the mountains and valleys of Utah so that a future Church could thrive and grow.
I am so excited for a shift in our upcoming Family Nights and for a new emphasis on all of those amazing people from past generations.
I wasn't feeling a lot of Love at Home today as my children all returned from long days at school. Some of them were grumpy. Some were impatient with me and with each other. Some of them were not very anxious to clean up messes they had made. The Scout Master is out of town this week, so I didn't have him to "bounce" my irritation off of. Instead I decided to remove myself from them for a little while and regroup. I constantly feel the weight of my responsibility to set the tone in my home, and if left to my own devices today, I would not have set a very good one.
Last week I had asked one of the girls to prepare a Family Home Evening lesson on "having a house of order," but after the events of the day, I made an executive decision to change our schedule. It's February, which is LOVE MONTH, so I thought tonight would be appropriate to talk about LOVE at HOME. It was a short lesson. Spell Girl read a scripture about "loving one another" and we all marveled at how many love references there are in the scriptures. I talked for a little while about how our house should be a LOVE ONLY zone. We should be able to come home from long days, challenging classes, and not so great school environments, and feel safe and loved and uplifted. We should have a family filled with people rooting for each other.
"None of us need one more person bashing or pointing out where we have failed or fallen short. Most of us are already well aware of the areas in which we are weak. What each of us does need is family, friends, employers, and brothers and sisters who support us, who have the patience to teach us, who believe in us, and who believe we're trying to do the best we can, in spite of our weaknesses. What ever happened to giving each other the benefit of the doubt? What ever happened to hoping that another person would succeed or achieve? What ever happened to rooting for each other?” ― Marvin J. Ashton
After the lesson, I handed everyone 5 little paper hearts that I had cut out last week, and asked them all to write one thing they loved about each of the other 5 people in our family. I encouraged them to put some thought into their love notes and not just write something funny or silly. And then we taped all of our hearts to the kitchen cabinets. (This is not an original idea, by the way. We did this last year after I read about it on another blog. The kids loved it and we decided to make it an annual tradition.)
In 20 minutes, we changed the tone of our home from annoyed and impatient, to kind and happy.
It's so nice to dig around in our heads for the lovey dovey things that are in there...sometimes buried under a lot of other stuff. I love to read what the kids write about each other...and about us. It's always such a happy surprise.
It will be so nice to wake up to those happy notes every morning as we walk into the kitchen. There are a few extra hearts leftover in case any of us feel a little inspired to add some more love to the kitchen. We're officially dedicating February as LOVE MONTH in our house, and we're designating our home a LOVE ONLY ZONE. Maybe if we do it for a whole month, it will stick for the rest of the year! <3
Have I mentioned that I am a HUGE Oprah fan? Like seriously huge! Did you know that I actually met her once...in 2001 in Chicago?...I'm not sure that I've ever mentioned that, but that's another story for another post. She is inspiring and generous and wise, and in person all of that is not only magnified, but it is also genuine.
This afternoon, I happened to have a free TV moment to clear some of my Oprah Network shows off of the DVR. I watched Building a Dream: The Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls. I had just come from an especially thought provoking, spirit-filled Institute class, and an equally enlightening weekend of Stake Conference, so this afternoon I was completely swept up in the lives of all these little girls in South Africa. I cried as I watched their stories and thought about the disadvantages some children have to live with. Some of these girls are orphans, some have to walk miles in unsafe neighborhoods just to get to school, some only eat once a week. If I had to endure even a small part of their circumstances, I'm sure I would end up piled in a useless heap somewhere. (really...just the thought of living without indoor plumbing makes me fall apart.) But somehow they have spunk, and radiance, and motivation. It was truly inspiring.
I thought about the privileges and abundance that my children are surrounded by in this place where we live. They have no idea what it's like to be uncomfortable. Even in our most difficult times, we always had a warm home, a safe neighborhood, and something to eat. I thought about the amazing opportunity my kids have to attend school freely and safely, to take music lessons, to perform, and to have so many options available to them so early in their lives. They don't have to wonder if they'll eat a meal. They don't have to hope they make it to school without being attacked. They don't have to sleep in a tiny little shack with rain dripping down on their heads.
So, I thought it would be a good idea to share this show with them tonight for Family Home Evening. They were quiet and respectful and patient while I cried through the whole thing once again (how grateful I am to have children who are ALL old enough to do that...FHE with little ones was SO hard for me!) And then they had some really insightful things to say afterward. (I love that they're old enough to do that, too.)
I loved watching this with my family. I loved seeing it through their eyes. I don't know if it will make my kids stop complaining about homework, but it was a good thing for them to see that there is so much more to the world than what they think they know. Maybe somewhere down the road they'll think about something they saw tonight and they'll be a little more grateful for the things they have. Maybe they'll be inspired to be more generous. Maybe they'll serve a mission in South Africa! :)
I love that there is so much truth and light in the world. I love that people are kind and generous and inspire others to be the same. And I love that as a family, we manage to carve out one night a week to just sit for an hour and talk about that stuff. (And man, do I LOVE that pink dress Oprah's wearing in that picture!!)
"The truth is, your legacy is every life you have ever touched. And that is true for me, it is true for every person who is reading this, it's true for you. The imprint, the heart print that you leave on every person's life that you're exposed to - that is your real legacy." - Oprah
