Peace

Oh, today has been a roller coaster of a day for me.  

And the crazy thing is, I think this is just the beginning of the ride...like the part where you're standing in line just looking at the roller coaster, not even on it yet, and starting to feel the butterflies in your stomach...only for me, those are always more like bats because I DO NOT LOVE roller coasters.  

Savannah's best friend and former roommate went to the MTC (Missionary Training Center) this afternoon for her two-week intensive training and preparation before heading off to Independence, Missouri to be an LDS missionary for 18 months.  

On Monday, when Mallory posted this on IG and I realized it was going to be her last post for the next year and a half, I started to fall apart.  

And then today, when she and Savannah said goodbye for the last time before Mallory left, the fear and doubt started to consume me.  What in the world are these girls going to be like after two whole years of not seeing each other?  How much are they going to change in the next two years?  How hard is this going to be for them?  And how in the world am I ever going to be able to let Savannah do this for 18 whole months??  I can't even imagine it.

I sat in the sadness for a couple of hours and then decided to get the heck out of the house.  A barn hunt is always a good cure for fears and doubts.  So, I grabbed McKay and off we went looking for something to take our minds off of Savannah and Mallory.  

We didn't find a single barn, but we did find a field full of beautiful new sunflowers...the first of the season.  And already, they are tall and straight and faithfully seeking the sun.  And as I looked at them in that field, I thought about how much more peaceful and calm I could be if I would just give up this worrying and look toward the Savior.  He already knows how Savannah and Mallory are going to turn out.  He already knows how a mission is going to bless not only these girls, and their families now, but also their future families and the generations of Savannahs and Mallorys that will come.  And all I need to do in all of this plan is be still, stand tall, and look for him...everyday, everyday, everyday.  He will help me figure out how to not be sad everyday.  He will help me to not be consumed thinking about all the potential challenges.  He will help these girls become stronger and amazing in their testimonies.  And He will help all of us to grow closer to Him.  

I'm so grateful for those beautiful, perfect examples in that sunflower field, and for the peace that flowed into the rest of my day after I found them.